Oh Great God, Be small enough to hear me now

Today, I was just sitting in my room and listening to some music and just reflecting on some things and this Song started to play. It really HIT me. It just spoke the truth.





Oh Great God, Be small enough to hear me now
By Nichole Nordeman

There were times when I was crying
From the dark of Daniel's den
And I have asked you once or twice
If you would part the sea again
But tonight I do not need a fiery pillar in the sky
I just want to know you're gonna hold me if I start to cry

Oh Great God, Be small enough to hear me now

There have been moments
When I could not face Goliath on my own
And how could forget we've marched
Around our share of Jerichos
But I will not be setting out
A fleece for you tonight
I just want to know that everything will be alright

Oh Great God, Be small enough to hear me now

All praise and all the honor be
To the God of ancient mysteries
Who's every sign and wonder
Turned the pages of our history
But tonight my heart is heavy
And I can not keep from whispering this prayer
Are you there?

And I know you could leave writing
On the wall that's just for me
Or send wisdom while I'm sleeping
Like in Solomon's sweet dreams
But I don't need the strength of Samson
Or a chariot in the endI just want to know that you still know
How many hairs are on my head

Oh Great God, Be small enough to hear me now

Lets Strive to find a Cure for CANCER!!!

Hey everyone,


Recently, or should I say for a long time.... I was thinking of what I could do to support Cancer Research especially since it hits close to home (it's on my "favourites" list of links). Then out of the blue my friend sends me an email (the e-mail is below) with just that...an event that is coming up in the area that all could take part in and raise money that would support Cancer Reseach. This is a great opportunity and I encourage you all to join and/or help.


Here is my friends e-mail (in red):


Hey Everyone,

The annual McMaster University Terry Fox Run is approaching, and Redeemer is putting a team into the run, bike, walk, rollerblade event. If you would like to join Redeemer's team, we'd love to have you. All you need to do is go to this site:

https://www.terryfoxrun.org/english/Corporate/default.asp?s=1
Click the blue bubble that says Search for an Existing Team to Join, click "find a corporate/group team", type the team name "Redeemer", Redeemer University College will appear below, click on that, and you will see a page that on the top reads "click here to participate on this team".

It sounds like a lot to do, but it is really quite simple. Collect pledges, record them online, and then come to run, bike, walk, or rollerblade on Sept. 17.

I'd love to see you all there! If you can't participate, but would like to donate to this event, please donate to the team (there are links on the same ending page as indicated above that will help you do that). If you'd like any more info, please feel free to email me back or check out the info online.

Hope you are all having a great summer, and if you can participate, we'd love to have you.
It'd be great to represent Redeemer in this event.

Thanks for considering it,
--Natalie *******



I thought I would post it here so that EVERYONE could consider it and perhaps support the team. Donations are great if you are unable to join them (hopefully I will be able to join) in the walk/run/bike.

Do it for that family member, that friend, that someone who doesn't cry for help but needs it.

Lets all STRIVE TO FIND A CURE! Help put a smile on someone's face.

Thanks everyone,



p.s. unable to help at this event or are not from the surrounding area just check out cancer.ca for other opportunities.

My day...

...consisted of organizing a packing and re-organizing.

I have moved most of my personal belongings back to my parents place (this was a big step for me) keeping only necessary items at my place in Ancaster. Why? This is to limit what I have to move again come March. Yes, March.

Come March, I will be performing my teaching practicuum in Cambridge therefore moving home...I think.

However, with storing my items at my Parents comes expectation (My mother is a portuguese woman -- so you can say 'anal'...lol). The expectation was/is that I would only be bringing back (storing) what I left with...HA! Yeah, right. Since living on my own I have accumulated a tremendous amount of items this includes crap.

Well, in my attempt to minimize the "appearance" of what I am storing I decided to re-organize and condense, by this, I mean parting with some of my possessions. Tear. However, by doing this I realized that I am a pack-rat. Yes, a pack-rat! Yikes!!!

Here are some of the interesting/humerous things I found:

• Grade 9 , 10, 11, 12, and OAC notes -- however, I only kept classes that I may have thought were important or would be to some use. Religion, History, Math, French, Phys-ed, English, Biology, and Accounting.

• College Notes -- obviously for reference purposes. :)

• - Unfinished letters to multiple people -- perhaps I will finish them and send them off. Pff...who am I kidding.

• - sealed and stamped letters and cards. I wonder if I could still use the stamp?

• - my old agendas from highschool, college and university. (I've decided to keep these .... just for kicks.) It's funny to look back and see what I wrote -- mainly birthdays...apparently homework wasn't vital or worthy of space.

• - Report Cards from as far as elementary school. Imagine, me quiet.

Well, this task continues until tommorrow. I will let you know what else I find.

How Long?

How long does it take to let someone go?

I was looking through the newspaper today when I saw a full page advertisement for a new badminton racquet and on the following page there was an article on Ultimate Frisbee and just below that a new wood-crafting device. My first thought was how powerful that racquet probably was (I know very little about racquets) and wondered if Mel or Julie owned it. And, coincedentally the article on frisbee (which they were both heavily involved with). Ultimate Frisbee seems to be the newest craze here at home. It's funny how something triggers a memory. That little wood-crafting device would have been so handy for my uncle had he still been here. Then came the immediate realization that they are all gone.

I recently lost my Uncle to Cancer and I still have not completely come to the realization that he is truly gone. Gone Forever. Well...I won't be seeing him agian this side of eternity. It just strikes me that those who leave our lives will always leave their print -- no matter the circumstance. Even in the most atrocious of events they will always leave their mark. It has got me to thinking more and more about Mel and Julie (my former roomies, good friends-- in Sudbury) How I still can, if I try hard enough or ever become brave enough again to contact the two of them. Yes, I have tried before -- I woke up one morning a couple of years ago and decided it was time to make amends. So, I drove up to NorthBay but quickly realized they were both not there. The trip was definately not a waste (definately not) for I was able to speak to their mother and father. Their mother is a fabulous lady. Fantastic. Despite the heart-ache and disapointment I had caused she still welcomed me with open arms (literally). Of course it was awkward at first especially since it had been years since I last seen or spoke to anyone of them. However, she still didn't turn me away. As I broke down, confused and disapointed, she embraced me and said "it's okay". This was something I had to hear, for I wasn't really sure anymore.

There are still times that I see or hear something that I want to share with the two of them, Mel and Julie that is. Mel, Julie and I parted our ways about four years ago and have never spoken since. Even though they have been gone all this time I still experience thoughts that bring an instant response of wanting to share those moments with them. I want to tell them about things and even just pass the time of day with my friends. It's not usually big stuff, just everyday happenings. It can be a joke that a I know they'd like or seeing a photo that they'd enjoy.

So again...
there have been many times (more frequent than before) that I'll see something and think of talking about it with them. Those times have become more and more infrequent but they are still present and seem never to truly fade... i guess they'll continue. I know that I won't be seeing them again (unless...) but it's hard to change those patterns of thinking that have been built up over time.

I'm not talking about grieving. The grieving has well and truly passed but I certainly still miss my Amigo's. Those thoughts are just flashes. The entire thought process is over in a couple minutes before I'm catapulted back into the real world, the world where they are no longer part of my life, not really anyways.

Of course I think about both of my friends/former roomies a lot more often than just at those moments but they seem harder to handle because they reinforce the loss. They're a reminder that there was, there is and there will continue to be moments that would be more meaniful if I could share them with those particular people.

So much has happened since we all parted away and there's a world of things I would have loved to have shared them.

I am often reminded of what Mother Teresa said "Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless." It may just be a simple smile but that smile could mean the world to that one person.


Perhaps one day I will see them again. Perhaps one day we could be good freinds again. Perhaps one day...

Now I don't use the word friends lightly but they were both my good-friends.

What about you? Do you have those instants when you 'forget' for just half a second that someone you love or someone who has truly impacted you has gone? Has time eased the ache for you?