Many of you have contacted me with some concern over my last blog. I am here to assure you that I am okay. I have currently come to a part of my journey, part of the puzzle if you will…where I am assessing who I am, where I stand, and how my surroundings have affected and shaped ME.
Bare with…
Sometime early in each of our lives, God sets an old card table in front of each of us. NOT the fancy ‘shmancy’ octagonal-cherry-wood-and-green-felt kind of card table that you see in the movies. The kind of card table I have in mind is an old-fashioned folding card table with leg hinges of questionable integrity—a rickety card table – the best kind.
Once the rickety card table is in front of us, God dumps an extremely difficult jigsaw puzzle onto its top. The puzzle is made even more challenging (have you seen me do a puzzle?! They are all challenging) by the fact that there is no picture on the box, just a note that says, “Assembling all the pieces correctly will result in a clear picture of why you are here.” (Nothing like attempting to do a puzzle to figure out our purpose :-)
Anyways, some of us start on our puzzles right away, while others wait until life takes a turn or two we don't understand. Sooner or later, though, we all begin to spend a lot of time trying to put all the pieces of the puzzle together. Eventually each of us holds the last piece in our hands and there is only one remaining hole in the puzzle. With great satisfaction we will snap this last piece in place, stand back to view the resulting picture, and state: “Oh, now I understand!”
By the time we put that last puzzle piece in place, most of us will have reached middle age. Many at that point will be content to have life “figured out.” While there might be others who have some nostalgia, craving for that rush (it’s the adrenalin) of making progress on that particularly difficult section of the puzzle. Few will have any interest in doing it all again. Many will have 50 or more years invested in achieving that state of understanding, and will not want to start over.
So most of us will spend the rest of our lives protecting that unsteady old card table, our arms outstretched as if we are defensemen on a basketball team - as we try to keep it from getting bumped. We panic when the flow of life jostles the table, fearing that one of those sorry legs will buckle and the puzzle will fall to the floor, taking with it our clear image of our lives.
We will see this in our friends around 50, when we begin congratulating each other on getting each of our own puzzles assembled. We will think we have it made and sit back and relax and watch life pass us by.
But is that what we all want? Guarding that table may be okay for some, but I know it’s not for me.
I think that puzzle will always have its hole – always waiting for that final piece. For I will stand back and give that rickety old card table A MIGHTY KICK, scattering the pieces of the puzzle.
The world is so big and so full of interesting people, places, and experiences. Comfortable, at least the way we use the word to describe the lives most of us construct and long for, is nearly the opposite of stimulating. As for security, you cannot hide from bad times. They will find you sitting on your porch in a rocking chair. The good times aren't nearly as outgoing. The best times, at least for me, nearly always happen when we don't already know what tomorrow is likely to bring.
So I periodically abandon my conventional life to thrust myself out into the wider world. It isn't easy, and by conventional measures it sometimes looks downright dumb, but i find the courage (or perhaps lack of judgment) to make the leap. Invariably I am rewarded with experiences that I come to value above all else. Quite often I share many of these experiences with new friends. I am also able to share my new experiences with my old friends.
As for the pain of transition, it is soon no more than an indistinct memory. This is better, I think, than for excitement to be an indistinct memory. To keep life interesting, maybe you want to give your own card table a kick.
I anticipate that this will shed some light as to why I wrote that blog.
Thanks
You are all a puzzle piece - where you fit, I don't know.
