Can I move on???????

Have you ever felt that you have to do something before your life CAN really move on?

This is how I feel and have been feeling for the past year. It feels that nothing satisfies me nor inspires me. I know exactly what I must do; but I am afraid. Afraid? Yes, afraid.

What am I afraid of? What may come? No, that’s impossible for the worst is here. Should I run? No, I’ve been running and hiding my whole life. What is it that I’m afraid of? People? No, myself. What have I done? Lots.

I sit here perched on the edge of my bed, with Nora Jones playing in the background and with faint smiles drifting across my face, as I sift through all my old photographs. Something I haven’t done in quite some time. I had them stored away in a box to not remind me of my past. Not a photograph was in sight. Memory lane was trapped. Hidden. Disguised.

I dig down into all the old memories. I hold each memory briefly in my hands before dropping it onto the pile in my lap and searching for the next happy moment to remember. Each picture evokes feelings long gone, but deep within me. I’m not exactly sure what has provoked this sudden journey to my past, perhaps it was that quote. What quote? The two quotes I carry with me in my wallet. They were buried in the rubble of receipts, but I knew they were there. Why? They carry a significant meaning, a memory.

As I continue to relive the memories, I can’t help but notice one photo in particular buried deep in the box. I plunge in to retrieve it from the sea of snapshots and hold it in my hands. The picture is lovely. Well centred, captures a great moment. It was of three people. As I focus in on the people, the warm smile that covers my face is replaced by an agitated frown. It was two girls and I. These two girls meant a lot to me. I respected and appreciated them. A terrible pang of regret flashes through me, and I feel the familiar constriction in my throat.

One event happened after another. And our friendship declined. A simple crack flourished. It was all gone. Why? Me. I tried to make excuses for not keeping in touch that summer. I couldn’t visit, too busy,…I used every excuse possible. I knew that was not the answer, but I was too nervous to pick up the phone and call. One day the phone rang as I was leaving for work. I stopped and answered. It was she. Who? The girl. She spoke and noted that I wasn’t a friend. Was that true? Yes. She said that she didn’t know me and everything is different now. How? Things happen. Why didn’t you call? She asked. Could I have told her? NO. Why? I didn’t know. Why? Fear. Was I being foolish? Yes. I could have trusted her. Why was I afraid? I didn’t know then. I do now.

Well, school started again in the fall and we tried to mend things. We went to classes, completed reports, and spoke on occasion. Things were hard. They weren’t the same. Was she right? NO, I didn’t want to believe it. What would I do? Run? Yes. School ended. We graduated. No more notes were passed behind the teacher’s back, no one understood the inside jokes. Before I had a chance to patch the crack between us, she moved back home to her old friends, and so did I. The crack between us quickly became an uncrossable rift.

Over the years the rift became too large to bridge. They had left and taken a huge chunk of my heart with them.

I stand up and stretch my cramping limbs. Pulling myself back now, I let the picture fall from my hand onto my cluttered desk. I glance back into the box. I see something. What was it? I bend down to grab it. It was an old birthday card I had made for them and never sent it. I look up at my calendar and remember the date. It was a long way away. I opened the card. What did it say? The same two quotes I had in my wallet. Strange? No, it was meant to be. Was this all a sign? I don’t know. We started so close, and ended up so far.

What do I miss most? I miss the friendship dinners.

Am I strong enough to build a bride?

Locus of Control

Locus of Control Test Results

Internal Locus (66%) Individual believes that their life is defined more by their decisions and internal drive. External Locus (34%) Individual believes that their life is defined more by genetics, environment, fate, or other external factors.

Take Free Locus of Control Test
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what leader are you?

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You Can Decide

I am sure you all will appreciate this.

To not be a passive victim.
To take charge every day.
To acknowledge the realities of life without despair.
To rejoice over gains.
To heal from losses.
To not run away from the truth.
To tell yourself the truth.
To learn more about your obstacles.
To learn more about how you can help yourself.
To live your life to the max today and then do the same tomorrow.
To live with the power of hope today and then do the same tomorrow.
To live with joy today and then do the same tomorrow.

UNTIL...

I have recently been inspired by the women at work to write this blog.

These women all vary in age and are at different stages in their lives. I then began to reflect and analyse others including myself and quickly discovered that no matter what point they were in life they are never completely satisfied. Why?

When summer arrives we whine extensively about the heat and humidity and come winter we condemn the ‘bitter’ cold.

We convince ourselves that life will be better after we get married, have a baby, then another. Then we are frustrated that the kids aren’t old enough and we’ll be more content when they are.

After that, we’re frustrated that we have teenagers to deal with. We will certainly be happy when they are out of that stage. We tell ourselves that our life will be complete when our spouse gets his or her act together, when we get a nicer car, when we are able to go on a nice vacation or when we retire.

The truth is there’s no better time to be happy than right now. If not now, when? Your life will always be filled with challenges. I t’s best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway. Happiness is the way. So, treasure every moment that you have and treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time with … and remember that time waits for no one.

So, stop waiting ..
Until your car or home is paid off.
Until you get a new car or home.
Until your kids leave the house.
Until you go back to school.
Until you finish school.
Until you lose 10 lbs.
Until you gain 10 lbs.
Until you get married.
Until you get a divorce.
Until you have kids.
Until you retire.
Until summer..
Until spring.
Until winter.
Until fall.
Until you die.

There is no better time than right now to be happy. Happiness is a journey, not a destination. So work like you don’t need the money, love like you’ve never been hurt and dance like no one’s watching.

Believe In Your Dreams and Hope

“They who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night.” Edgar Allen Poe

“We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.” Oscar Wilde

“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.” Eleanor Roosevelt

“The secret of all those who make discoveries is that they regard nothing as impossible.” Justus Liebig

“I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable ability of man to elevate his life by conscious endeavor.” Henry David Thoreau

“Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow; it empties today of its strength.” Unknown

“A rock pile ceases to be a rock pile the moment a single man contemplates it, bearing within him the image of a cathedral.” Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

“In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.” Albert Einstein

“Nothing is hopeless, we must hope for everything.” Madeleine L’Engle

“The poorest man is not without a cent, but without a dream.” Unknown

Whitney Houston - ***Greatest Love of All***

One of the best songs from Whitney Houston. Hope this song can help us to start accepting ourselves and keep our hope high. Enjoy !

I believe the children are our are future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier
Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be
Everybody searching for a hero
People need someone to look up to
I never found anyone to fulfill my needs
A lonely place to be
So I learned to depend on me

Chorus:
I decided long ago, never to walk in anyone's shadows
If I fail, if I succeed
At least I live as I believe
No matter what they take from me
They can't take away my dignity
Because the greatest love of all
Is happening to me
I found the greatest love of all
Inside of me
The greatest love of all
Is easy to achieve
Learning to love yourself
It is the greatest love of all

I believe the children are our future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier
Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be

(Chorus)

And if by chance, that special place
That you've been dreaming of
Leads you to a lonely place
Find your strength in love

Are You A Reason, A Season, Or A Lifetime?

I recieved this email from a friend and I thougtht it was cute and valid. Very inspirational.




Pay attention to what you read. After you read this, you will know the reason it was sent to you! People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person.


When someone is in your life for a REASON. It is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are! They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered. And now it is time to move on.

Then people come into your life for a SEASON. Because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons: things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

FRIENDS

Friendship is a special gift
given to us all.
The smile of a friend is sunlight on a cloudy day,
and every smile given to a friend is returned. A friend is one whom you can talk to, and listen to, without judging. A friend doesn't ignore your faults but accepts them as part of you.


A friend is a shoulder to lean on when you need support, A pat on the back when you do well, and a sympathetic ear when you fail. A friend is a person you can laugh with about everything, you can cry with without shame, and whom you trust completely.
A friend is a partner in life and a part of you always and forever.


-------


A friend is someone we lean on,
When we are feeling weak.

A friend is someone who help's us,
Find what it is we seek.

A friend is someone who looks out for you,
In all they say and do.

A friend is someone you don't have to tell,
For they already knew.

A friend is someone who would,
Go that extra mile.

A friend is someone who show's us,
A heart that does truly smile.

A friend is someone who'll stand by you,
And help you through your day.

A friend is someone who'll show you,
There is always a way.

A friend is someone who'll dry your tears,
When you feel you have to cry.

A friend is someone who'll pull you through,
When the tide feels ever so high.

A friend is someone who'll be there,
Until the very end.

A friend is someone who'll show us,
How that broken heart they'll mend.

A friend is someone who give's us,
Understanding, Joy and Grace.

A friend is someone who makes this world,
Truly a wonderful place.