Ermz

A Challenge to all of you: Images of God...

2007-01-27T12:42:00.000-08:00

I was looking for an assignment on my memory stick when I came across a file entitled images of God I opened the file to find out it was the powerpointt assignment that my students in grade 7 had made during one of our Religion units. The students were asked to create a God Wanted slide -- on the slide it had to include an image of where they saw God. We then compiled every students slide into a slide show. Upon reviewing it as a class we discussed how, we all see God differently depending on the role God plays in our life.

Here's the best representation I could find of my image of God right now:

And since I couldn't shake this image from my head, here's one more:

And here's your challenge! Post your own image of God to your blog, and pass this memo onto your blogging friends! Let's see how many unique images of God we can collect, and how many people share a similar and a completely dissimilar image of God. If you participate in this exercise, please let me know in the comments so I can check out your image of God at your blog!

Proper etiquitte on eating pie.

2006-12-28T19:03:00.000-08:00

My uncle is here from portugal. This is the first time he has left the islands bisides being in the war in Africa (years, years ago) so this presented a rather interesting trip. He first had to adjust to the cold, despite the fact that it really wasn't that cold. He then had to adjust to this rather rapid "time is money" culture. He was shocked how large our airport was -- and how many cars travel on the highway (401). It was quite hilarious.

But one event tops it all....

As we sat down eating dinner we decided to treat ourselves and introduce my uncle to the term desserts, in Portugal we don't do desserts. In fact I was surprised when I reached Redeemer and every meal was followed by dessert. Weird, but a pleasant treat.

Anyways,

we had cherry pie and my uncle didn't understand what kind of 'torte' this was. He stared at it for quite some time. We just sat their watching meh!! Some time elapsed and we began to consume our savoury pie (my first time having cherry -- I still prefer apple) I guess he, my uncle, missed the fact that we were eating it with a FORK. He had a slice of pie in his hand and cherries were oozing all over his hand. It was hilarious. Everyone dieing of histaria. It was too funny. All he kept saying was "who eats this stuff; it's to mushy" and "it's dripping everywhere".

I guess we failed to inform him of the proper etiquitte on eating pie. As a result a lesson was learned: one must educate those who come from a different culture on various cultural differences including how to eat pie.

What a scene..

2006-12-08T18:40:00.000-08:00

Imagine this:

Walking down a hall as Christmas music plays faintly in the background; you see student's art pieces decorating the walls -- with scenes of winter and Christmas. In the "pit" (open area of the school - typically a meeting ground) a scene of what Christmas is all about -- with the manger scene centered, elves working around, reindeer lurking at every corner. AND off to your left, a large window--- and the snow is gracefully falling.

Peaceful isn't it?

Reflective!!

This was the scene I encountered today as I walked back to the classroom from the first half of parent-teacher interviews. This scene took me back and it was a simple reminder that:

GOD IS GREAT!!!

REMEMBRANCE DAY

2006-11-12T19:10:00.000-08:00

Below are some of the Remembrance day reflections that the Grade 7s from my placement have written.

Remembrance Day is a sad, people going to war fighting and killing. In WWII Laura Secord saved Canada but the leader Brook was killed as he was going to the war but Laura’s husband lived. My Gram and Grandpa went to war but lived. They were very young when they went so they do not remember a lot. Jordan said that if they chickened out they would have been thrown off the ship into the water. It made me wonder if that is true and that they must have had a harsh life. The slide show and music reminded me of Iraq and how people are fighting for peace. As a result it made me think of my poverty essay. If everybody were to put the money they used on war onto poverty there would be peace. I think this is a sad thing but it makes me happy to know that people put their lives in danger for me and for out country, Canada . We should show our respect for them. We should always remember them; they have helped us and we owe them our gratitude.

Remembrance Day is a very sad time. People have sacrificed their lives for us in many wars such as WWI, WWII, and the continuing war in Afghanistan . This is a very sad time for mothers, sons, daughters because many men and fathers are sent to Afghanistan and sacrifice themselves to defend their families, friends, other relatives and Canada . The war in Afghanistan still goes on and many people are dying. Now while the war is going on, we salute the brave, strong soldiers that give up their lives to protect their friends, families, and Canada .

During the Remembrance Day reflection I felt very thankful for the Canadian soldiers who fought in the wars to protect us. We have not been physically harmed but we are all emotionally hurt because we all have the feeling that soldiers are dying all over the world just to protect us. I felt sad because the Canadian soldiers and other countries soldiers are fighting to protect us. Some day when Canada is in danger again we will all help the dying soldiers so that we can all live in peace.

Remembrance Day is a very emotional day because we remember all the soldiers who have died in the wars. They go to Afghanistan to fight for the world and keep it safe for us and so we can keep carrying on. They back each other up and they listen to our national anthem with pride. They fire at them for Canada , they attack for Canada , and fight for Canada to keep us safe and happy. I feel very sad for them because they risk their lives and all they get is death. They all go down there with pride and fight with pride. They die and fall for us. So we gather today to remember and to salute our soldiers. O Canada, We salute thee!

I think we all should remember and take this day seriously because there are soldiers out there that fought and died for us. I am very thankful, because of them, we have schools that are safe and homes where we can sleep at night without having to worry about bombs being dropped on us. Will it hit me? Will I see my friends and family tomorrow? Is it safe the spot where I am at? Thanks to the soldiers we don’t have to be worrying about this right now. They have created and sacrificed their lives so we can live. I hope one day every single person will stand and actually show emotion for the soldiers and what they have done for us. One day we will all have a peaceful world and I hope that we can all be safe. Why war? Why can’t it be stopped? What do we have to do to make is stop? If kids all around get taught well, to not choose war and to not harm others this will not happen. Unfortunately there are people out there that choose the opposite. We should all work together to make a difference.

Together
Everyone
Achieves
More!

Remembrance day a day to remember World War I and II and all of the wars that have taken place. Canadians have been there to help at wars that don’t involve Canada . Young men all over Canada have volunteered their lives to help others. They left their homes, family and peace behind to help others who are living in a world of sadness and despair. Those poor people who have their houses bombed have had family and friends die. The horror of it and yet Canadians are there. Many have fought and died bravely. Others lived but risked their lives. Remembrance Day is the day that we honour all those soldiers who have died and those who risked their lives for us. We wear a poppy because of the poem, “In Flanders Field”. We stand for a moment of silence; we listen to the bugle play; we try to imagine the soldiers; and we pray. They deserve to be honoured. They deserve to be loved. We honour and love them today.

No one likes war, war is horrible. Thousands of people go to war and they fight and kill other people. Canadian soldiers die in Iraq . It is horrible to think that everyone has to fight. There is no real point to war. Why do people just start killing each other for no reason? I wish there was no such thing as war. Why should people go to a different country just to kill people? I don’t know how many people die a month in Iraq but even if one person dies a month it’s still horrible. War is horrible, everyone hates it. No one really wants to go to a different country to die. I would never go to war ever! War = Bad

A new chapter,

2006-11-10T20:46:00.000-08:00

WOW! What a fantastic week.

Lately I have been at my teaching placement completing my practicum.

I had a variety of emotions stirring on the first day they soon settled; I was quickly welcomed by the staff, more like a welcome back, and by the students. However, with the week rolling by so did a variety of different experiences. Experiences during non-instructional hours range from setting up a monument and assembly for Remembrance Day to supervising detention to dealing with sever bullying to understanding the difference between ‘homework’ and ‘school work’ all in a very short time, you could say in 5 days.

I am in an intermediate setting. I have a grade 7 homeroom class with rotary taking place in the afternoon (great experience). This provides me with ample opportunity to get to know a wide variety of students (and different teaching styles that occur as a result).

This week was my first week and it was wonderful. I was expected to teach 25% this week -- I think I achieved this goal...but I may need to do some calculations.

I love every student and they are all truly an inspiration. I am able to see things in a new perspective everyday. They all enlighten me whether its with music a new sport statistic to explaining the true meaning of "trust" (todays Religion lesson). Often, I find myself doubting that the students will truly understand or grasp the deep meaning of something and often I am tickled by thier wisdom.

A lesson learned -- never underestimate!

The Purpose of EXAMS

2006-10-30T19:00:00.000-08:00

The purpose of exams

The main purpose of exams is for lecturers to check that you have understood the work. A more conventional answers would be: to measure knowledge of the content of, or the achievement of, the learning outcomes that are equivalent to those of a specific course (Intended Learning Outcomes). Hmm...what can I say Curriculum foundation helped me recall the definition or it could just be freash in my memory because I just finished writing the exam today.

Or you may agree with me when I say-- the purpose of Exams is to freak all students out and create massive chaos across the planet, especially since exams affect all divisions of Creation. Lets look at this way, the furry little animals know when its exam time. Just watch them scurry around as people pull in and out of the parking lot. They are much more cautious when they run across the street. Roomies always know when its exam time - even when they aren't on the same schedule -- they tend to put coffee on (even if you don't like it :)

Preparing for exams involves a high release of energy (something I tend NOT to have during exams) and an unusual degree of focus (hence the blog writing), which produces a very intense kind of learning (sure, I now know that Math is my next exam). That focus and intensity are not easy to reproduce under any other conditions. Ofcourse! becuase it isn't happening NOW!

Some advantages of examinations:

There are some positive benefits in exams! Yes, I said it.

You cannot be expected to give very long or detailed answers in exams: you need to use less information than in a comparable piece of coursework. As a result, less in-depth research and reading may be needed than if you were set additional coursework. You don’t have to write out references or bibliographies in full at the end. I told ya there were some benefits. I don't know about you but not writing a bibliography saves me tons of time.

Examiners are generally more sympathetic about scrawled handwriting (my arm and hand went limp) , minor grammatical errors (definately didn't proof-read) , spellings and forgotten details (because it definately happened).

...a glimpse of the soccer Season....

2006-10-19T21:01:00.000-07:00

Fans!!!

Shouldn't you be playing the game?!?! Call it!!
Where's the ball?
Oh, no you don't

Concentrate...

Hey! Get off me...

Watch-out ...that ball is mine!
Winning Game. 5-0 Redeemer vs. Lambton

Focused!!!

Cheese!! Team Bonding.

Half-time....hurry and get warm!
Bundle Up!!! Nothing beats playing soccer in freezing water
Coaching from the sidelines
Best Goalie ever and Me!! Catching up on some sleep....cute!!!ah...friendshipCo-CaptiansRookie InitiationRookie Initiation

Victori-us weekend

2006-10-14T19:35:00.000-07:00

Varsity Women's Soccer

We walked on the field with a no nonesense entrance -- the girls wanted this--they were hungry.

We expected to win when we walked on the field. We knew it. The other team knew it. That's a great thing. It's something that you earn. You can't teach it, you feel it. And we never gave up.

The weekend was a burrrrr-ly one but we walked out there with confidence. Craving that win and we did --with a 5-0 win against Lambton ....but we were still hungy so we went on to win St. Clair 4-0. Can you say amazing???? I can.

It was definately a fun weekend despite the cold. With pranks up everyone's sleeve and hunger to solve the mystery -- it was hilarious. "we'll be watching" was the theme this week...scarry ....nah, funny!!

Here's the details:

Everyone was attacked yet again this week. It was, for a second time tailored to each individual. A love note from an ex-husband to poetry to ransom notes to cherrios jingle competition to a karate belt to 'tighty whities'. LOL.

Anyways, we went out to play the game and when we returned there was a poster/flyer in our rooms --- I will post this later

An Awakening

2006-10-08T07:45:00.000-07:00

Life changing events happen to all of us...important events that change the course of life from that day forward. The ones we choose are usually exciting and filled with anticipation: a wedding, a new career, a family started, a move made. All change the course of events in our lives from that day on and we step willingly into them.

It’s the other events that haunt us ... the life changing events that we are plunged into without choice or warning... individual crisis that most everyone eventually gets a turn at. The call that a loved one is dying, an accident that changes life forever, a diagnosis, a breakup, a job loss all change the course of life from that moment on and we find individuals forging on in places they have not stepped willingly.

As we come to see life as a journey, not just from birth to the grave, but as an experience, its secrets, its messages begins to unfold.

Through this journey I have learned one of life's greatest lesson.

The only people we really wound are those we love the best.

We flatter those we scarcely know, we please the fleeting guest, but we dial many thoughless blows to those who love us best.

Here is to you.....

Thanks For Being You

Thanks for giving me joys and smiles

Thanks for sharing my trouble's pile

Thanks for wipeing the tears of my eye

Thanks for showing me the glad view of sky

Thanks for lending me your shoulders to lean

Thanks for giving my words a proper mean

Thanks for telling me the value of life

Thanks for showing me the rules to survive

Thanks for lending me the sympathetic ears

Thanks for showing how much you care

From all this what I mean in the end

Is thanks for being my special friend.

Thanks for being my brother and sister.

If you are facing a hard and unwelcome change in your life that has been thrust upon you, be determined in inching forward beyond the pain. Don’t let the trouble determine who you become. Don’t let the tragedy become your definition. Like mine did.

No one is an island. We need the inspiration and encouragement of one another as we dust ourselves off from the deep pits of life and step out to move forward.

Soccer Girls Got PRANKED!!

2006-10-07T12:29:00.000-07:00

The girls soccer team was pranked this week and it was funny.

We all recieved a little message in our mailboxes on how to prepare for thursday practice.

Everyone was hit uniquely it ranged from preparing jello jigglers to vocal cord rehersal (to sing the national anthem) to thre-legged races. Others recieved random phone calls, love letters, and trash (don't ask me).

To say the least it was funny although stressful up until practice.

We have suspicions as to who the genius is behind this little prank but nothing official yet.

I will keep you posted.

FEAR..........

2006-10-04T10:55:00.000-07:00

of Thunder and Lightening

Clarification

2006-09-15T10:05:00.000-07:00

Hello it's me again.

I thought I would clarify something since I saw a friend (JJ) who Congradulated me and yet no cangrats was required.

JJ, who I thought dropped off the face of the earth, was in the hall today and congradulated me on being part of Jessica Lise's wedding. The thing is I am NOT part of her wedding.

Jessica's BIG day is May 12th so clear your calendars.

Today

2006-09-14T15:46:00.000-07:00

Today was a humerous day with tons of chaos.

We, the education students, seem to be wrapped up in our own little world ....ya right!!!

Tricks of the Trade:

..we've decided to take the easy route and get everyone to complete chapter summaries for many of our education classes hoping that this would ease the stress (although many...if not most... of us are not feeling it .....YET!!). So far this is working. Everyone likes this idea. What a surprise....lol.

...we have also decided to add some humor to our semester by creating nick-names for everyone. I must admit some are pretty hilarious. "JI" also known as "jail incorpated"....thanks to Michelle are leading the ropes on this one --- especially since "cliques are not our thing" ***wink, wink***

...we have also decided that the education department should order t-shirt (which, our design is killer -- well the idea of it anyways.) Perhaps we will go with a more sopisticated look....pff who am I trying to kid we are the "JI's". We add humor ...and tears ...to everything possible.

Thats the secrets of the trade. Humor goes a long way! So incorporate it into everything you do, and I mean everything....this also includes attire. Did someone day "lets where our PJ's".

Soccer:

Soccer is going really well. We are having tons of fun with the team and have many things up our sleeve (well, the injured veterans anyway). All I have to say is Road Trip!!!

...my knee still remains a mystery. I have however , booked an appointment who inturn will book some x-ray's and whatever else is needed. Nat seems to think its a little more serious than I make it to be. Pff. But I must listen, for I am sure she knows best.

Our 1st soccer home game is Wednesday, September 20th at 4:30pm so come and support the Redeemer Royals.

Family:

Steph has ventured off and has offically started school this week and seems to be enjoying it. Yeah!! She attends Mohawk (brantford campus) and lives out there with a friend and some other random roomies. Apparently she loves it.

Diane seems to be having some odd back pains and has booked several appointments including an ultra-sound and a cat-scan to see whats going on. Please keep her, Gary and Payton in your prayers.

Payton (my Godchild/neice) has a cold and is beginning to look like a wiggle worm. Yes, she has begun to crawl. Pretty soon she'll be telling me that I am the coolest person.....or that I have the coolest hair (according to a fellow Redeemer Student). Sweet!!

well everyone I will keep you posted (especially since this is a great procrastination tool) but BYE for now.

Adios.

Soccer Boot Camp

2006-09-05T16:55:00.000-07:00

This past weekend Redeemer had its first labour day weekend soccer 'boot camp' (what I like to call it). lol.

There was a fabulous turnout (I was impressed). The team is looking strong already and thats before cuts. The 1st years a dominant out on the field (which is a good thing) and appear ready for the challenges. How exciting.

This weekend brought a lot of soreness and injuries. Hopefully everyone will be up and running by the weekend for our first tournament.

Rachel (last years captian...and hopefully this years captian) has hurt her knee (which is definately not a good thing). So, Please pray for her so that she can have a full recovery. She appears to be in a lot of pain.

As for me, I have hurt my knee. I am not sure what has happened but as far as I've been told its my meniscus. AHHH!! Apparently, according to the physiotherapist, this is not a good thing, but what do they know.

Since many of you are probably like me and don't know what the heck a meniscus is I have gone through the liberty of looking it up.

THE ROLE OF THE MENISCUS

The meniscus has several functions:

Stability - As secondary stabilizers, the intact meniscii interact with the stabilizing function of the ligaments and are most effective when the surrounding ligaments are intact.

Lubrication and nutrition - The meniscii act as spacers between the femur and the tibia. By doing so, they prevent friction between these two bones and allow for the diffusion of the normal joint fluid and its nutrients into the tissue which covers the end of the bone. This tissue is known as articular cartilage. Maintenance of the integrity of the articular cartilage is critical to preventing the development of post-traumatic or degenerative arthritis.

Shock absorption - The biconcave C-shaped pieces of tissue known as meniscii (cartilage in non-medical terms) lower the stress applied to the articular cartilage, and thereby have a role in preventing the development of degenerative arthritis

Well anyways, soccer is off to a good start and please keep ALL the injuries in your prayers and pray that everyone else remains in good health.

Oh Great God, Be small enough to hear me now

2006-08-21T16:17:00.000-07:00

Today, I was just sitting in my room and listening to some music and just reflecting on some things and this Song started to play. It really HIT me. It just spoke the truth.

Oh Great God, Be small enough to hear me now
By Nichole Nordeman

There were times when I was crying
From the dark of Daniel's den
And I have asked you once or twice
If you would part the sea again
But tonight I do not need a fiery pillar in the sky
I just want to know you're gonna hold me if I start to cry

Oh Great God, Be small enough to hear me now

There have been moments
When I could not face Goliath on my own
And how could forget we've marched
Around our share of Jerichos
But I will not be setting out
A fleece for you tonight
I just want to know that everything will be alright

Oh Great God, Be small enough to hear me now

All praise and all the honor be
To the God of ancient mysteries
Who's every sign and wonder
Turned the pages of our history
But tonight my heart is heavy
And I can not keep from whispering this prayer
Are you there?

And I know you could leave writing
On the wall that's just for me
Or send wisdom while I'm sleeping
Like in Solomon's sweet dreams
But I don't need the strength of Samson
Or a chariot in the endI just want to know that you still know
How many hairs are on my head

Oh Great God, Be small enough to hear me now

Lets Strive to find a Cure for CANCER!!!

2006-08-16T22:32:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone,

Recently, or should I say for a long time.... I was thinking of what I could do to support Cancer Research especially since it hits close to home (it's on my "favourites" list of links). Then out of the blue my friend sends me an email (the e-mail is below) with just that...an event that is coming up in the area that all could take part in and raise money that would support Cancer Reseach. This is a great opportunity and I encourage you all to join and/or help.

Here is my friends e-mail (in red):

Hey Everyone,

The annual McMaster University Terry Fox Run is approaching, and Redeemer is putting a team into the run, bike, walk, rollerblade event. If you would like to join Redeemer's team, we'd love to have you. All you need to do is go to this site:

https://www.terryfoxrun.org/english/Corporate/default.asp?s=1
Click the blue bubble that says Search for an Existing Team to Join, click "find a corporate/group team", type the team name "Redeemer", Redeemer University College will appear below, click on that, and you will see a page that on the top reads "click here to participate on this team".

It sounds like a lot to do, but it is really quite simple. Collect pledges, record them online, and then come to run, bike, walk, or rollerblade on Sept. 17.

I'd love to see you all there! If you can't participate, but would like to donate to this event, please donate to the team (there are links on the same ending page as indicated above that will help you do that). If you'd like any more info, please feel free to email me back or check out the info online.

Hope you are all having a great summer, and if you can participate, we'd love to have you.
It'd be great to represent Redeemer in this event.

Thanks for considering it,
--Natalie *******

I thought I would post it here so that EVERYONE could consider it and perhaps support the team. Donations are great if you are unable to join them (hopefully I will be able to join) in the walk/run/bike.

Do it for that family member, that friend, that someone who doesn't cry for help but needs it.

Lets all STRIVE TO FIND A CURE! Help put a smile on someone's face.

Thanks everyone,

p.s. unable to help at this event or are not from the surrounding area just check out cancer.ca for other opportunities.

My day...

2006-08-14T21:27:00.000-07:00

...consisted of organizing a packing and re-organizing.

I have moved most of my personal belongings back to my parents place (this was a big step for me) keeping only necessary items at my place in Ancaster. Why? This is to limit what I have to move again come March. Yes, March.

Come March, I will be performing my teaching practicuum in Cambridge therefore moving home...I think.

However, with storing my items at my Parents comes expectation (My mother is a portuguese woman -- so you can say 'anal'...lol). The expectation was/is that I would only be bringing back (storing) what I left with...HA! Yeah, right. Since living on my own I have accumulated a tremendous amount of items this includes crap.

Well, in my attempt to minimize the "appearance" of what I am storing I decided to re-organize and condense, by this, I mean parting with some of my possessions. Tear. However, by doing this I realized that I am a pack-rat. Yes, a pack-rat! Yikes!!!

Here are some of the interesting/humerous things I found:

Grade 9 , 10, 11, 12, and OAC notes -- however, I only kept classes that I may have thought were important or would be to some use. Religion, History, Math, French, Phys-ed, English, Biology, and Accounting.

College Notes -- obviously for reference purposes. :)

- Unfinished letters to multiple people -- perhaps I will finish them and send them off. Pff...who am I kidding.

- sealed and stamped letters and cards. I wonder if I could still use the stamp?

- my old agendas from highschool, college and university. (I've decided to keep these .... just for kicks.) It's funny to look back and see what I wrote -- mainly birthdays...apparently homework wasn't vital or worthy of space.

- Report Cards from as far as elementary school. Imagine, me quiet.

Well, this task continues until tommorrow. I will let you know what else I find.

How Long?

2006-08-08T00:05:00.000-07:00

How long does it take to let someone go?

I was looking through the newspaper today when I saw a full page advertisement for a new badminton racquet and on the following page there was an article on Ultimate Frisbee and just below that a new wood-crafting device. My first thought was how powerful that racquet probably was (I know very little about racquets) and wondered if Mel or Julie owned it. And, coincedentally the article on frisbee (which they were both heavily involved with). Ultimate Frisbee seems to be the newest craze here at home. It's funny how something triggers a memory. That little wood-crafting device would have been so handy for my uncle had he still been here. Then came the immediate realization that they are all gone.

I recently lost my Uncle to Cancer and I still have not completely come to the realization that he is truly gone. Gone Forever. Well...I won't be seeing him agian this side of eternity. It just strikes me that those who leave our lives will always leave their print -- no matter the circumstance. Even in the most atrocious of events they will always leave their mark. It has got me to thinking more and more about Mel and Julie (my former roomies, good friends-- in Sudbury) How I still can, if I try hard enough or ever become brave enough again to contact the two of them. Yes, I have tried before -- I woke up one morning a couple of years ago and decided it was time to make amends. So, I drove up to NorthBay but quickly realized they were both not there. The trip was definately not a waste (definately not) for I was able to speak to their mother and father. Their mother is a fabulous lady. Fantastic. Despite the heart-ache and disapointment I had caused she still welcomed me with open arms (literally). Of course it was awkward at first especially since it had been years since I last seen or spoke to anyone of them. However, she still didn't turn me away. As I broke down, confused and disapointed, she embraced me and said "it's okay". This was something I had to hear, for I wasn't really sure anymore.

There are still times that I see or hear something that I want to share with the two of them, Mel and Julie that is. Mel, Julie and I parted our ways about four years ago and have never spoken since. Even though they have been gone all this time I still experience thoughts that bring an instant response of wanting to share those moments with them. I want to tell them about things and even just pass the time of day with my friends. It's not usually big stuff, just everyday happenings. It can be a joke that a I know they'd like or seeing a photo that they'd enjoy.

So again...
there have been many times (more frequent than before) that I'll see something and think of talking about it with them. Those times have become more and more infrequent but they are still present and seem never to truly fade... i guess they'll continue. I know that I won't be seeing them again (unless...) but it's hard to change those patterns of thinking that have been built up over time.

I'm not talking about grieving. The grieving has well and truly passed but I certainly still miss my Amigo's. Those thoughts are just flashes. The entire thought process is over in a couple minutes before I'm catapulted back into the real world, the world where they are no longer part of my life, not really anyways.

Of course I think about both of my friends/former roomies a lot more often than just at those moments but they seem harder to handle because they reinforce the loss. They're a reminder that there was, there is and there will continue to be moments that would be more meaniful if I could share them with those particular people.

So much has happened since we all parted away and there's a world of things I would have loved to have shared them.

I am often reminded of what Mother Teresa said "Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless." It may just be a simple smile but that smile could mean the world to that one person.

Perhaps one day I will see them again. Perhaps one day we could be good freinds again. Perhaps one day...

Now I don't use the word friends lightly but they were both my good-friends.

What about you? Do you have those instants when you 'forget' for just half a second that someone you love or someone who has truly impacted you has gone? Has time eased the ache for you?

2006-08-06T21:17:00.000-07:00

Heat Wave

2006-07-31T21:36:00.000-07:00

What a heat wave. I can't believe this heat or rather the humidity. I could handle the heat if the humidity would just disappear.

Meh, c'est la vie!!!

it all finally makes sense

2006-07-25T21:41:00.000-07:00

You are a Mystic, known for your imaginative, intuitive spirituality. You value peace, harmony, and inner silence. Mystics are nurtured by walking alone in the woods or sitting quietly with a trusted friend. You may also enjoy poetry, meditation, wordless prayer, candles, art, books, and anything else that helps you connect with God.

Mystics experience God best through rich images and symbols. You are contemplative, introspective, intuitive, and focused on an inner world as real to you as the exterior one. Hearing from God is more important to you than speaking to God. Others may attribute human characteristics to God, but you see God as ineffable, unnamable, and more vast than any known category. You are intrigued by God's mystery.

Mystics want to inspire and persuade others, and need to live lives of significance. At times you push the envelope of spirituality, helping the rest of us imagine who we might become if we followed your lead.

Sometimes you may feel a bit guilty about your need for solitude and silence. If so, you probably have bought into the American myth that says being alone and doing nothing is lazy, antisocial, and unproductive. Stop it -- now. Give yourself permission to retreat and be alone. It's essential for your well-being.

On the other hand, don't get so carried away retreating that you become a recluse. That only deprives the world of your gifts and deprives you of the lessons that come from being with others. Some Mystics may have a true vocation for solitary prayer, but the rest of you need to alternate retreat time with involvement and interaction.

If you want to do this test hit the link http://www.upperroom.org/methodx/thelife/test.asp?act=test

2006-07-18T04:50:00.000-07:00

I just arrived home after a meeting at work. Today we found out that there will be some significant changes at work. As of August 7th there will be six 12-hour shifts as opposed to 4 12-hour shifts and 3 8-hour shifts. Eeek!

I am hoping that we (all the students) don't get transffered to Stoney Creek's site.

The shifts will be as follows:

Group A (12 hour continental work week) -- this is my current group 3*

Group B (12 hour continental work week) 4/5*

Group C (12 hour continental work week) 6*

Group D (12 hour continental work week) 4/5*

Group A/B (straight days--7am-7pm, semi-continental) 1/2*

Group C/D (straight day --7am-7pm, semi-continental) 1/2*

*red font indicates ranking of prefered shifts

Well, here's to hoping that I don't get shipped over to Stoney Creek.

Ta-Da

2006-07-17T12:27:00.000-07:00

It’s a new look.

I was seriously ill with the look of my former blog. As a result I thought I would be spontaneous and experiment with a new layout. So here it is. I personally think it is visually more appealing then the other. It is easier to navigate through and it is definitely easier on the eyes.

What do you think?

Disappointed I am...

2006-07-14T10:05:00.000-07:00

I am dedicating this post to this blog http://making-history.blogspot.com

At first I thought it was going to be a history blog however, it turned out to be an individuals story of her ongoing life. What a interesting blog title.

This blog helped me realize more attentivley that we are surrounded by history, in our families, in our neighborhoods, in our communities. In fact, as we move through our daily lives, we are all making history right now. Hopefully, this will remind us to appreciate the past, and to consider every day as an opportunity to contribute to our families and to our communities.

Now back to why I am writing about this blog: It amazes me that she has yet to recieve any feedback from anyone. No one has provided any sense of guidance, reassurance, motivation, or even a simple "i am here". It has been my experience that everyone comes together when in harm or a physical illness sets in but when something is NOT as visible we ignore it, like its not worthy of our attention. This is where we are wrong. Everyday, even Christians, walk around with masks on to hide what they are really feeling, in hopes to be unnoticed..but they are hurting.

Let me provide you with a couple of examples.

1st example:
When my mother was diagnosed with Cancer I didn't really tell anyone except my former roommates who where there when I recieved the call and wow, what a blessing. They helped me let it all out, and were my strength when I needed it. I don't even have the foggiest idea of how to thank them especially since we have all parted our seperate ways --but they continue to be with me in my heart. Anyways, back to the whole point of this thing, everyone that we (my family) knew who knew (we didn't tell a whole lot of people but thats another story) of my mothers illness were there to help, in prayer, phone calls with words of comfort, and simple questions like "how is she doing" made us realize that we were not alone in this. That there were people who cared. It provided us with the strength to go about our daily lives.

2nd example:
My friend suffered from depression and a magnitude of other things and we didn't really know about them for she wore a "mask". A mask to disguise how she was really feeling. When people asked how she was she would respond "great". She was one of the most cheerful people I knew, always had a smile on her face, and always lent a helping hand. She was awesome. One day she just didn't show up for school and we were told that she had committed suicide.

Now we have someone here http://making-history.blogspot.com pleading fro our help and we turn our face in another direction.

I hope those two scenerios help to paint my point. It is not only the physical but the "whole" peorson that needs help.

...and we're off...

2006-07-02T19:47:00.000-07:00

...to the SEMI-FINALS!

Okay, so we beat England in a shoot out and now it's off to beat the French.

VIVA PORTUGA

FORCA

Just an update

2006-06-27T19:27:00.000-07:00

People have been wondering what's up, so here's the 20 second overview:

This is what I have been up too:

Work: Cadbury Adam Schwepps in Hamilton

Living: Ancaster

Lately, I have been watching the soccer "football" games as you can see from my previous posts which came to a crushing end on Wednesday (they play today for the 3rd place finale). I have been chillin'.

Here is what I am hoping to do soon....eventually before the summer comes to a bittersweet end:

Camping (who knows where or with whom)
Get myself a tan...seriously I don't think I can get any more whiter than what I am currently
Finish my scrapbook project
Get butt in gear/shape for soccer or field hockey coaching

WORLD CUP CHAOS

2006-06-27T19:08:00.000-07:00

Disclaimer: Yes.. I am a "football" Soccer fan and I scream and jump and cry when my team is on the field.

Portugal (1) ~ Netherlands (0) My apologies to the Dutch!!!

2006-05-13T14:19:00.001-07:00

Talking to God on the Seventh Day

You're not so sure about this world?Listen. Take another look:

the joyful recklessbarking dogs, convinced of doom, hysterical,or only proud to own the yard,the block, the wind --the raised welt of their voicesroughening your dreams.

The new leaves slightly bent, likefingers on guitar,rippling their chord of twigs --and the still-bareslingshot branches,naked as the tails of rats,liminal as roots.

The squirrel crushed in the road,its tail stillwaving, in the wind of passing cars, a flag,and the blackest of black crows,breaching the bodywith its surgeon beak --

black needles of its feet so pleasedwith death,which is also meat, and life.Another squirrel, its rapid jaws

muttering around a nut:My number not up yet not yet bub not yet --

Now tell me why you ever thoughtyou could improve on this

music, this hunger.

~ Ruth L. Schwartz ~

(Edgewater)

2006-05-13T14:19:00.000-07:00

The Journey

2006-05-13T14:09:00.000-07:00

Above the mountains
the geese turn into
the light again

Painting their
black silhouettes
on an open sky.

Sometimes everything
has to be
inscribed across
the heavens

so you can find
the one linealready written
inside you.

Sometimes it takes
a great sky
to find that

small, bright

and indescribable
wedge of freedom
in your own heart.

Sometimes with
the bones of the black
sticks left when the fire
has gone out

someone has written
something new
in the ashes of your life.

You are not leaving
you are arriving.

(House of Belonging)

LAUGHTER

2006-05-11T14:41:00.000-07:00

What is laughter? What is laughter?

It is God waking up! O it is God waking up!

It is the sun poking its sweet head out

From behind a cloud

You have been carrying too long,

Veiling your eyes and heart.

It is Light breaking ground for a great Structure

That is your Real body - called Truth.

It is happiness applauding itself and then taking flight

To embrace everyone and everything in this world.

Laughter is the polestar

Held in the sky by our Beloved,

Who eternally says,

"Yes, dear ones, come this way,

Come this way towards Me and Love!

Come with your tender mouths moving

And your beautiful tongues conducting songs

And with your movements - your magic movements

Of hands and feet and glands and cells - Dancing!

Know that to God's Eye,

All movement is a Wondrous Language,

And Music - such exquisite, wild Music!"

O what is laughter?

What is this precious love and laughter

Budding in our hearts?

It is the glorious sound Of a soul waking up!

Remember...

2006-05-11T14:34:00.000-07:00

Enjoy....

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will.

You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harderevery time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken.

You'll fight with your best friend.

You'll blame a new love for things an old one did.

You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love.

So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.

2006-04-28T11:45:00.000-07:00

2005 -2006 is DONE

NO

MORE

EXAMS

WOOHOO!!!

SEVENS

2006-03-30T07:59:00.000-08:00

1) Seven things I plan to do before I die
2) Seven things I can do well
3) Seven things I can’t do at all (or hardly)
4) Seven celebrity crushes
5) Seven things I say most often
6) Seven things that attract me to men/women…whatever works for you
7) Seven things I’m listening to

...any my answers are...

Seven things I plan to do before I die

1) Travel Europe
2) Get married .....
3) Raise a Family
4) Teach
5) Learn to play the piano and guitar, learn to sew and drive stick
6) ...make amends with people I have hurt
7) learn to speak portuguese properly

Seven things I can do well

1) Procrastinate
2) Sleep and Walk
3) Clean
4) multi-task
5) Fake a good mood for the sake of customer service
6) Eat cheese
7) Listen to Friends

3) Seven things I can’t do at all (or hardly)

1) Play soccer
2) Walk quickly down staircases with repeated patterns, as in a stalled escalator
3) Resist Pizza
4) Be confrontational, even when I need to be
5) Eat in sketchy peoples’ houses
6) Drive a stick
7) teach myself technical things -- like fixing a computer, or that noise my car is making

Seven celebrity crushes

1) Mathew MaConaughey
2) The spanish guy of Miss Congeniality
3) .....i'll have to come back to this --- cuz i am horrible with names
4)
5)
6)
7)

Seven things I say most often

1) ..are you kidding..
2) geash...
3) Ciao
4) Seriously
5) Holy Jumpin' Jamicans
6) Shit
7) Random

Seven things that attract me to men/women…whatever works for you

1) Eyes
2) Personality
3) Smile (teeth included --- you know what I mean)
4) Stature/Physique
5) Intelligence
6) That they are engaging...
7) Ability to fix thing/use their hands

Seven things I’m listening to

1) People typing....haha
2) Anything that plays on the beat 92.1
3) 95.3
4) My various CD's
5) Simple Plan
6) The classic "road trip CD"
7) Somebody loves me by .....good question

....you gotta rub me the right way .....

2006-03-29T18:20:00.000-08:00

Say you're walking along whatever city street you tend to walk along and you discovered a lamp. Not just any old lamp but that old magic lamp you've been hearing about. Let's say you give it a rub and lo and behold, a genie pops (oozes, smokes whatever) out and is willing to grant you one wish. And cause this is Canada, he'll grant you two wishes...one for the wider world (if you'd do that kind of thing) and one strictly for yourself. And no, you can't use your wish to get unlimited or more wishes you can't be greedy. What would you wish for?

hi

2006-03-29T12:18:00.000-08:00

2006-03-17T13:34:00.000-08:00

Happy St. Patty's Day.

Go out and have some GREEN Beer!

I'm an Auntie!!!

2006-03-12T22:16:00.000-08:00

Payten Joy Ford

7 lbs 12 oz

January 18th

After speaking to a couple of you I realized that I failed to inform some of you that my newest playmate has arrived. Even though the bear thinks that he is...he's WRONG!!

Well thats her pictured there...she's so cute! You gotta luv her. She's almost walking .....okay i'm kidding but she's able to hold her own weight. AND she recently recieved her newest 'kicks' -- yes they are white ...she's gotta have a pair like her aunt.

Payten - "village of the warrior"

Everyone knows to wear “Green”

2006-03-12T22:09:00.000-08:00

Everyone knows to wear “Green”

on March 17th ...

But why? ...

And who was St. Patrick??

Historical sources report that Saint Patrick was not even Irish! He was born around 373 A.D. in either Scotland or in Roman Britain (the Romans left Britain in 410 A.D.). His real name is believed to have been Maewyn Succat, but he changed it to Patrick after he became a priest. At the age of 16, while living in Ireland, he was kidnapped by pirates and sold into slavery.

During his 6-year captivity, he worked as a shepherd. He found strength in his faith. He finally escaped and made it to France, where he became a priest (and later a bishop).
When he was about 60 years old, St. Patrick traveled back to Ireland to spread the Christian word. He used the green shamrock, which resembles a three-leafed clover, as a metaphor to explain the concept of the Trinity - father, son, and holy spirit. The Irish people embraced him. The old saint died in his beloved Ireland, March 17th, about 460 A.D. The land which once enslaved him, he had set free.

Today, Saint Patrick's Day is a basically a time to wear green and party.

Now what are you doing for St. Patty's Day??

Take a Walk Through the Woods

2006-03-08T16:38:00.000-08:00

An Interesting Test - Take a Walk Through the Woods

After reading JJ's blog on her journey down 'journal lane' I decided that I too wanted to review my journals from the past. It's been a while since I have kept one - but I definately agree with JJ that one should keep a journal....it is very therapeutic. Yikes! I would hate to have it analyzed.

Anyways, over the years I have kept little things that I have enjoyed and pasted them into my journals or just held on to them and I came across a test that I had previously taken.

I love tests and one of my most favorite tests is this one. It can be done only once, so if you want to take it, don´t read the Results, otherwise you will spoil it all forever.

Get a sheet of paper and pen, follow the questions below and write your answers, one by one. The more details, the better. Be honest, don´t judge or change what you see/feel.

IMAGINE:

1. You're walking through the woods - who are you walking with? Or are you alone?

2. You come across an animal in the woods - what is it, how does it look like? What is your interaction with the animal? What do you do when you see it? Does it run away or do you run away? Do you just stare at each other?

3. You come to a clearing in the woods, and you see your dream house. How big is it? Is there a fence around the house?

4. You walk inside and you come to your kitchen table. Is there anything on or around it?

5. You walk out your back door. In the lawn you notice a cup. What material is the cup made out of? What do you do with the cup?

6. As you walk, you come to a body of water. What body of water is it? How do you get to the other side?

*
**
***
****
*****
******
*******
********
*********
**********
***********
**********
*********
********
*******
******
*****
****
***
**
*

Now you can interpret your answers.

The person you are walking through the woods with is the most important person in your life at this moment in time. If you are alone, then it´s you who is the most important person in your life.

The size of the animal that you come across in the woods is the size and magnitude of your problems (generally) these days. How you interact with the animal is how you interact with your problems. Did you run away? Did you stare it in the eye until it got scared and left
?
The size of your dream house is the size of your dreams and what you would like to accomplish in life. If you have a fence around your house, you are a closed person. If not, you are open to people and quite easily show what you are and feel inside.

If you didn’t put anything on the kitchen table (silwerware, food, books etc.), you are said to be a person who suffers from depression.

The material of the cup that you find outside tells you about the durability of the relationship that you have with the person you are walking through the woods with. Is it plastic, glass, ceramic? Where did you put it? What you do with the cup also tells how you handle the relationship with that person. Did you take the cup inside and wash it off and take care of it, or did you just throw it away?

The size of the body of water in the backyard of your house is the size of your sex drive. How wet you get crossing it means how passionate you are.

Okay, so here are my results:

1. I am walking alone in the woods talking to God and making sense of some things - I just need some time to think some thing through.

2. I come across a squrrel. It's running across my path with some sort of nut (I guess its gathering up for the winter...not sure). It is little and dark brown; I just watch it as it crosses the path ahead of me. The squrrel looks at me and continues to go about its business.

3. It a nice stone house with 12 foot ceilings. 4 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, a living area, a nice kitchen with an island, a nice dining area for guests. A cozy reading area with a fireplace. Contains french doors. Big porch for entertainment reasons - equipped with a stereo, bbq, lawn chairs even one that swings. No Fence around the front yard and I am not sure about the back yard - I'm not a fan of them but if I have kids it may be a good idea.

4. Kitchen table has daisy's and candles on it. It is surrounded with 4 chairs and with some off to the side.

5. It's a blue plastic cup. I carry it with me.

6. Its a large ocean/lake. I go for a swim -- its too far to get to the otherside -- that would mean going to another country.

Here are my comments on this quiz... some humour....

-- You honestly think I would come into contact with a bear....are you kidding. I get freaked our with an ...ohh ...I forget the name of that insect that has a million legs (or what appears to have a million legs) and moves about rapidly. (Its the bug that looks like a stick with tons of legs). So ya lets get real here - I would not be walking in a forrest that has bears in it.
- It was the first question I asked before I packed my bags for my first camping trip a couple of years ago.

-- ahh my dream house...pretty isn't it. Too bad I will never own it -- well atleast not till I'm 99 after paying back my OSAP. Okay, okay you are all probably wondering 'who puts a fence up in the front yard?' Right!? Well, remember that show Picket Fences?! -- well that was the first thing to pop into my head after reading the question.

-- Anothr thing, who walks into a house and finds a naked table (its like the naked trees -- Pauline thats for you)... ya gotta have some decor. You have to keep it real. Okay, perhaps i'm in la, la land......hmm....

-- Who puts a cup on the ground? I've heard of putting into a tree (Jess...you ill me) and if it is ...it best be plastic - and who in their right mind would just continue to stare at the cup without picking it up...its just disturbing. LOL. And another thing where am I going to put it -- i'm outside.

-- You ask for water, you got water. If you're gonna have water near by you have to go big or go home. Actually, I just love oceans. They are soo soothing, calm...ahhhh i'm in awe just imagining it. Also, they said it was my dream home...so that means I can dream. My dream home will have a perfect view of the sunset.... and nothing makes it more perfect than having an ocean beneath it.

What Will Matter

2006-02-24T11:59:00.000-08:00

A great little inspirational story....atleast I thought so!

What Will Matter
Michael Josephson

Ready or not, some day it will all come to an end.

There will be no more sunrises, no minutes, hours or days. All the things you collected, whether treasured or forgotten will pass to someone else.

Your wealth, fame and temporal power will shrivel to irrelevance. It will not matter what you owned or what you were owed.

Your grudges, resentments, frustrations and jealousies will finally disappear. So too, your hopes, ambitions, plans and to do lists will expire.

The wins and losses that once seemed so important will fade away.

It won't matter where you came from or what side of the tracks you lived on at the end.

It won't matter whether you were beautiful or brilliant. Even your gender and skin color will be irrelevant.

So what will matter? How will the value of your days be measured?

What will matter is not what you bought but what you built, not what you got but what you gave.

What will matter is not your success but your significance.

What will matter is not what you learned but what you taught.

What will matter is every act of integrity, compassion, courage, or sacrifice that enriched, empowered or encouraged others to emulate your example.

What will matter is not your competence but your character.

What will matter is not how many people you knew, but how many will feel a lasting loss when you're gone.

What will matter is not your memories but the memories that live in those who loved you.

What will matter is how long you will be remembered, by whom and for what.

Living a life that matters doesn't happen by accident. It's not a matter of circumstance but of choice.

Choose to live a life that matters

The Precious Gift

2006-02-24T10:31:00.000-08:00

I thought I would post this for all you to enjoy, as I did.

The Precious Gift
Author Unknown

Once upon a time, when God had finished making the world, he wanted to leave behind a piece of His own divinity, a spark of His essence, a promise to man of what he could become, with effort. He looked for a place to hide this precious gift because, He explained, what man could find too easily would never be valued by him.

"Then you must hide this gift on the highest mountain peak on earth," said one of his counselors.

God shook His head, "No, for man is an adventuresome creature and he will soon enough learn to climb the highest mountain peaks."

"Hide it then, O Great One, in the depths of the earth."

"I think not," said God. "for man will one day discover that he can dig into the deepest parts of the earth."

"In the middle of the ocean then, Master?"

God shook His head. "I've given man a brain, you see, and one day he'll learn to build ships and cross the mightiest oceans."

"Where then, Master?" cried His counselors.

God smiled, "I'll hide it where every man and woman will be able to find it if they look sincerely and deeply enough. I'll hide it in their heart."

Life's Journey

2006-01-04T10:33:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year Everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I recently recieved this and thought I would share:

Do not undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others.It is because we are different that each of us is special.

Do not set your goals by what other people deem important.Only you know what is best for you.Do not take for granted the things closest to your heart.

Cling to them as you would your life, for without them, life is meaningless.Do not let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past nor for the future. By living your life one day at a time, you live all of the days of your life.Do not give up when you still have something to give.Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.It is a fragile thread that binds us to each other.

Do not be afraid to encounter risks.It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.Do not shut love out of your life by saying it is impossible to find.The quickest way to receive love is to give love.The fastest way to lose love is too hold it too tightly.In addition, the best way to keep love is to give it wings

Do not dismiss your dreams.To be without dreams is to be without hope.To be without hope is to be without purpose.Do not run through life so fast that you forget not only where you have been, but also where you are going.

Life is not a race, but a journey to be savored each step of the way.

STONES

2005-12-01T08:18:00.000-08:00

Two friends were walking through the desert

During some point of the journey they had an argument,

and one friend slapped the other one in the face.

The one who got slapped was hurt, but without saying anything, wrote in the sand:
TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE.

They kept on walking until they found an oasis, where they decided to take a bath.

The one who had been slapped got stuck in the mire and started drowning,

but the friend saved him. After he recovered from the near drowning, he wrote on a stone: TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE.

The friend who had slapped and saved his best friend asked him,

"After I hurt you, you wrote in the sand and now, you write on a stone, why?"

The other friend replied
"When someone hurts us we should write it down in sand where winds of forgiveness can erase it away. But, when someone does something good for us, we must engrave it in stone where no wind can ever erase it"

LEARN TO WRITE YOUR HURTS IN THE SAND AND TO CARVE YOUR BENEFITS IN STONE.

Tooo Betray

2005-11-29T12:18:00.000-08:00

One of the most wonderful gifts we can have in our lives is the gift of a true and trusted friend, one who loves at all times, who laughs when we laugh and cries when we cry, who speaks the truth to us in love and who helps us when we fall. Have you got a friend like that? If you've got just one, you are blessed.

A really important question to ask yourself is: Are you that kind of a friend to those people whom God has put into your life? A good friend is one who keeps a confidence. When someone trusts you with some information that is confidential, are you very, very careful never to betray that confidence? That is a trust we should take very seriously.

Proverbs 11:13 says "A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret." And in Proverbs 20:19 it reminds us again that "A gossip betrays a confidence so avoid a man who talks too much." Can your friends rely on you to keep their confidence? Gossip, of course, is one sure way to damage friendships and lose a person's confidence. Do you avoid gossip like the plague?

Now, let's reverse that question, and ask what we do when someone betrays our confidence. David had that experience; he wrote in Psalm 41:9: "Even my close friend, whom I trusted, he who shared my bread, has lifted up his heel against me." He doesn't say exactly who he was referring to, but it's likely it was Ahithophel, who was David's trusted counselor. Ahithophel conspired with Absalom to overthrow David and make Absalom king. This was a man who had for years been David's closest counselor, and now he becomes his hidden enemy.

Nothing can hurt much more than having a friend betray you. What can you do? Well, remember that vengeance belongs to the Lord, not to you. Don't try to equal the score; let God do that. Ahithophel ended up hanging himself when his plan to overthrow David failed. Those who betray you will eventually pay the price, but it's not yours to decide. Let God do it.
Then follow Jesus' instructions to pray for your enemies and do good to those who despitefully use you. Find something good to do for that friend who has betrayed you. Obviously, the friendship will change because confidence and trust have been destroyed. But be willing to forgive, even if you're not asked to, and don't allow your friend's betrayal to cause you to become bitter and angry.

~mary~

2005-11-27T12:24:00.000-08:00

Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget. -- G. Randolf

Never explain yourself. Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it. -- Belgicia Howell

The greatest good you can do for another is not just to share your riches but to reveal to him his own. -- Benjamin Disraeli

Friendships begin with liking or gratitude roots that can be pulled up. -- George Eliot

What is a friend? I will tell you it is someone with whom you dare to be yourself. -- Frank Crane

A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway. -- Fr. Jerome Cummings

Then come the wild weather, come sleet or come snow, we will stand by each other, however it blow. -- Simon Dach

A man's friendships are one of the best measures of his worth. -- Charles Darwin

Building Blocks for Deep Friendship

2005-11-23T18:34:00.000-08:00

Building Blocks for Deep Friendship

The passages below are taken from Charles Stanley’s book, “Walking Wisely,” published in 2002.

Deep, constant, godly friendships don’t just “happen.” They are built. There are eight essential building blocks required.

1. TIME
You must be willing to spend time with your friends. I must admit, I probably have lost some friends through the years because I have said, “I don’t have time,” when they invited me to go places or share experiences with them. The more honest truth is I didn’t choose to make the time. We all tend to make time for the things we want to do. We must also make time for the relationships we desire to have.

When we don’t have time for our friends, we likely aren’t valuing our friends as we should. We also must be aware that we have only so much time in life, and we likely have only the necessary time for a handful of genuine deep friendships. That does not mean we can’t have more casual friendships---but for a truly deep friendship to develop, time together is a vital ingredient.

2. TALK
A second building block to a good relationship is talk.
Conversation is the way you discover more about a person—-it is a window through which to peer into another person’s heart, mind, soul, and spirit. The more you converse with a person and see inside that person, the more you know about the person. And the more you know about a person, the more you love him or her--or perhaps, the more you realize that your friendship is likely to be short-lived.

When you are with a friend, the topic of your conversation doesn’t really matter. I used to meet regularly on Sunday afternoons to have tea and coffee with a few of my friends. We used to go to the same timmies every Sunday--in fact, the staff were so accustomed to our coming that they would have our order ready.

These friends of mine were all at different stages in their lives, including myself, but we had many common interests. What did we discuss? Anything and everything. We talked about whatever poped into our minds. Our conversation is free-flowing, easy, and natural- no subject is off-limits, no topic is too trivial or too big. We were open with
one another. We were friends. Yes, I do use this in the past tense for the distance has grown. We are now miles and miles apart. However, we do keep in touch for the most part.

3. SHARED TEARS AND LAUGHTER
Genuine friends cry together and laugh together. If a person is a genuine friend, you should have no hesitation whatsoever in going to that person when you are hurt, rejected, or disappointed . . . or when you have a triumphant moment!

Those who stuff all of their emotions--both sorrow and joy—--do damage to their own physical health. We all need the “release” of tears and laughter in order to vent our emotions.

4. EXPRESSED THANKFULNESS
A friend voices thanksgiving for his or her friends. Not too long ago, one of my friends showed up just when I needed someone to talk to about a situation I was facing. I realized that she had an uncanny way of showing up just when I need a listening ear and feel the need to pour out my heart. I’m thankful for her in my life. I’m thankful for the direction and wise counsel she gives me! And I am. I realized that she is not the only one whom I can rely on. I have many to whom I can trust.

I have a friend who will randomly calls or email me and I’m never quite sure why she calls or writes but --one of her recent emails took me by surprise. She had written “I’m grateful for our friendship” and “I love you, like a sister.” To have a friend who will openly and frequently make those two statements is a wonderful thing! I came to realize that we often take our friends for granted and rarely let them know how much we value and appreciate them. So ....If you haven’t told a friend lately that you are grateful to God for his or her presence in your life . . . or if you haven’t said, “I love you,” to a friend. . . I encourage you to do so.

5. THOUGHTFUL GESTURES
Sometimes the best way to show your appreciation for a friend is to do something for your friend or give something to your friend. The deed or item need not be grandiose or extravagant--rather, something that conveys the message, “I’m thinking of you. I listen to you. I know what you like--yes, even what you need.” A friend takes joy in giving something that he knows his friend desires.

One of my friends is a tremendous giver. She is always sending me something that she thinks I’ll enjoy--her gifts are always meaningful to me and sometimes rather unusual. As much as I have protested about her gifts to me, she continues to send them. One day she said to me, “I’m just a giver. It’s what I do."

6. TOLERANCE
Friends tolerate the occasional bad mood, the hurtful comment said in haste, or the bad attitude that’s the result of being too tired or too stressed out.

Sometimes tolerance means putting up with an annoying habit. Sometimes it means cutting that person some slack when he’s fifteen minutes late . . . again. Not long ago, I sat and listened to a friend of mine tell a story I’ve heard so many times I could tell it in detail myself. This girl knew I’d heard the story. Everybody else at the table had heard it. But we all listened as if we were listening for the first time. She’s our friend.

7. TOUCHING
There’s power in appropriate touching between friends. A genuine friend should be someone you feel you can hug, someone you can pat on the back.

A while back, I was at work, and I noticed that one woman was giving another woman a very hard time about something. Rather than respond in a negative manner, she reached out and touched her lightly on the shoulder and said, “I’m sorry . . .“ She didn’t have to say anything more. The instant she touched her, she melted--her countenance changed and so did the tone of her voice.

Most people are hungry to be touched--it’s a sign to them of care, empathy, concern, appreciation, and value.

I am certainly not advocating that you hug every person in sight, or that you be overly affectionate with casual acquaintances. You must be sensitive to what another person needs and desires--you should touch another person only in a way you know is comfortable for that person. A friend, however, should be someone that you don’t think twice about touching when you desire to express pure, nonsexual affection, comfort, or appreciation.

8. TRANSPARENCY
Transparency means not holding deceitful motives, hiding your feelings, or harboring a secret agenda in your dealings with another person. If you are going to develop a genuine friendship with another person, you are going to have to let that person see the real you.

I have always struggled with allowing my true emotions come out. Why? For many reasons. One, I think, is putting myself in a position of vulnerability. Another reason is just fear of being judged. Yes, this goes against everything I have just said but its true. I do have fear. How do you really know that your friends are really your friends? Over the last few months I have come to realize that it's about trusting God. God will never present something that I am unable to handle. Its not in his character.

THE SUM IS LOVE
All of these building blocks add up to one simple four-letter word: love. A person you love is a person you spend time with, talk to, cry with and laugh with, are thankful for, do thoughtful things for, tolerate without complaining, touch with affection, are transparent with, speak the truth to, and trust.

The cardinal principle for having a deep, close, godly friend
is to be such a friend.

What Damage the Relationship?
The foremost way to damage any relationship is simply to undo or tear down one or more of the building blocks identified above. Relationships are impaired or harmed when:
• You stop spending time together.
• You stop talking to each other.
• You become reluctant to share your sorrows and your joys—--you stop crying together and laughing together.
• You no longer express your thanks or do thoughtful things for each other.
• You become increasingly critical of each other—--less and less tolerant of each other’s errors, less appreciative of each other’s efforts, less accepting of each other’s weaknesses.
• You stop touching each other with warmth and tender affection.
• You build a wall and no longer share your life freely with each other—--one or both of you hold things back and conceal your motives, feelings, and thoughts.
• One or both of you lie to each other—--not only about what you are doing, but what you are thinking and feeling with regard to your relationship.
• You stop trusting each other. (192-193)

The 8 T of being a good friend: I must make the TIME to TALK to each other and to be THANKFUL that we share our joy and TEARS with one another. I must be THOUGHTFUL to him and be TOLERANT of his occasional bad mood and be TRANSPARENT in my dealings with him. Above all, we must not be afraid to TOUCH each other, emotionally, mentally and physically but not sensually.

2005-11-11T07:34:00.000-08:00

TRUTH

THE EASIEST THING TO SEE

YET FOR PEOPLE

THE HARDEST THING TO PERFORM

What are you looking for?

2005-10-31T11:42:00.000-08:00

"On the road that I have taken, one day, walking, I awaken, amazed to see where I have come, where I'm going, where I'm from. This is not the path I thought. This is not the place I sought. This is not the dream I bought, just a fever of fate I've caught. I'll change highways in a while, at the crossroads, one more mile. My path is lit by my own fire. I'm going only where I desire. On the road that I have taken, one day, walking, I awaken. One day, walking, I awaken, on the road that I have taken."

The Book of Counted Sorrows (Dean Koontz)

A Single Step...

2005-10-20T10:04:00.000-07:00

Accept no one's definition of your life, but define yourself." - Harvey Fierstein

A Wise Man set out to see if he could visit all the villages in his country during his life time. One day, late in the evening,after a very weary journey across the mountains, he came to a small village. He started to unpack his bedding (for it was his custom to rest in the open at night under the stars) when he heard a voice greeting him. Looking up he was confronted by a man who introduced himself as one of the Village Elders. 'You are welcome to rest in our home', said the Elder,'It may rain this evening and you are welcome to shelter with us'. The Wise Man smiled, but decided to accept the hospitality.

At supper time he sat with the Elder's family. From the way they acted it was obvious that this was a loving and friendly community. It was the Wise Man's practice to say little but listen much. He heard the Elder's granddaughter sighing and muttering to her husband 'I wish I could do it - but it's impossible!.' When her husband got up to take their child to sleep the Wise Man moved closer to the woman. He smiled and looked into her eyes. 'Whatever is troubling you', he said, 'remember this, there is a remedy, a solution to all things but it always comes down to choice. Even the longest journey starts with but a single step'. The woman looked at him for a moment, then said 'I suppose I have known this all along but could not admit it, now I will try'. The Wise Man thanked his hosts the next morning and departed the village. He had mentioned where he thought he would arrive at in six months time; it was a small community in the far north.

The Wise Man had many adventures (which we may hear of another time) and eventually arrived at the northern village, some six month's later. This time he did sleep under the stars. The following morning he was approached by a man who said he was from the village Inn. 'Your arrival has been foretold to me, by this letter in my hand', the Inn keeper said. 'It describes you and so I give it to you now'.

The Wise Man was not easily surprised (having seen much in his long life) and raised an eyebrow. The letter began...'Most kind and generous sir, I followed your advice but it was such an arduous, almost painful, task to do what I wanted to do. But, now, after many months my heart is joyful. I feel I am on the way, I believe I can do this thing. That single step was the hardest, over many weeks. Tomorrow, I take the second step.......'

The Wise Man smiled again.

~author unknown~

what would you do?

2005-10-20T09:49:00.000-07:00

Hi Everyone,

Its been busy here in my world but I have decided to post this.

"If you don't stand for something, you fall for anything." ~Public Enemy

Now I want you all to think about how far you would go to stand up for something you believe in.

Would you comprimise anything?

"Not until you look into the face of every man and every woman and see your brother and sister...only then have you seen the light. All else is still darkness." --From an old Hasidic tale

"people who mater most are most aware hat everyone else matter, too." ~ Malcolm Forbes

2005-10-07T21:35:00.000-07:00

Your Personality Is

Rational (NT)
You are both logical and creative. You are full of ideas.You are so rational that you analyze everything. This drives people a little crazy!
Intelligence is important to you. You always like to be around smart people.In fact, you're often a little short with people who don't impress you mentally.
You seem distant to some - but it's usually because you're deep in thought.Those who understand you best are fellow Rationals.
In love, you tend to approach things with logic. You seek a compatible mate - who is also very intelligent.
At work, you tend to gravitate toward idea building careers - like programming, medicine, or academia.
With others, you are very honest and direct. People often can't take your criticism well.
As far as your looks go, you're coasting on what you were born with. You think fashion is silly.
On weekends, you spend most of your time thinking, experimenting with new ideas, or learning new things.

The Three Question Personality Test

2005-10-07T21:26:00.000-07:00

How You Life Your Life

You seem to be straight forward, but you keep a lot inside.You are always tactful and diplomatic. You let people down gently.You prefer a variety of friends and tend to change friends quickly.Some of your past dreams have disappointed you, but you don't let it get you down.

How Do You Live Your Life?

HOW I LIVE MY LIFE

2005-10-07T21:18:00.000-07:00

How You Life Your Life

How Do You Live Your Life?

EVEN...

2005-10-01T21:20:00.000-07:00

Even...

...if you respect all that you heard;

Even if you sell all letters of my name;

Even if you imagine all fragments of my life;

Even if you accompanied all my moments;

How could you ever know what you did not see in instants outside my mortality.

A living process....

2005-10-01T20:18:00.000-07:00

I have now been back at school for a month and its great. Its great to see my friends although I miss those who I have parted from **tear**(I miss you all). While the summer was an adventure it is great to be back into routine again.

This semester has been so much fun and a HUGE learning experience already and it has only been a few weeks. I guess I should fill you all in on whats going on…

I am super busy with my classes, being an RA, playing soccer and being on student senate. School has always been an expereince but theres something about this semester that is much different than the last. I still can't put my finger on what it is that changed but I am thankful for whatever it is. I think. This semester has been filled with new friends: which in itself brings about the question game, hours of laughing, and random trips.

For some strange reason, when I see occasional people for the first time I get this little voice in my head saying "you will be their friend" and low and behold I look at my friendships now and those people are in my circle of friends. It is kind of random that I am writing about this but it is what came out of the keyboard as I sat down and typed.

Heres a brief synopsis of everything:

Clases are great. As many of you all know I am in the Education Program and that in itself is a blessing and a privledge. I am thankful everyday that I have the opportunity to attend school. Teachers are the most amazing people…well they were in my life and still are. I just hope that I am able to fill those shoes and give back to the community what it has provided me.

I am also very thankful for the RA position and the people that it has placed in my life. It is really encouraging to hear someone say to you, "Thanks for taking that extra step to get to know me, because no one else would have." That is an amazing feeling that I can’t even explain but it once again points back to God.

Ah, to love soccer, haha. I am on my schools soccer team only by default (everyone made the team). Everyone knows I can’t play soccer even if my life depended on it. It’s my third season ever playing and I can’t believe how much I have learned. Imagine just 2 years ago I could’t kick a ball further that I can jump…lol. Well, soccer is a blast. It keeps me out of trouble and I am slowly getting back into shape. Like I say….’everything happens for a reason’.

Being on student senate is definitely interesting. It keeps me foccused and my priotities intact. Its also great to be representing the student body. I am slowly learning what my exact role entales but nontheless its definitely a learning experience.

Life never ceases to amaze me.

UPDATE...

2005-09-30T19:59:00.000-07:00

Summer has come to a conclusion, like most others, rode much like a roller coaster: there were highs and lows, bumps and bruises, plenty of fear, yet an abundance of excitement. This year, however, I feel that I reached new highs. I have learned a lot this year; about music, about the people around me, about the topics covered in school, about God, about me. This year, I have also felt the most terrified and sadness I have ever felt before.

It began on a roller coaster; I commenced the summer with much reflection of the summer. I came off of my first school term into a very tough second term. I had a new housemates, and plenty of strangers around me. Gradually, each of these improved, and things were going pretty well. My faith derailed for a bit (as it usually does), but restored quickly as friendships flourished. To sum up the year…the spring was unforgettable, the summer was challenging, and the fall was invigorating.

There were a lot of memorable experiences this past year, many triggering other memories perhaps moreso than any other year. From some of these experiences, I have learned a great deal and I can only hope that I have changed for the better in response to these realizations. Yet not all was happy-go-lucky this year, either. I have to face the reality that I had to bid goodbye to many dear friends for an unknown amount of time. I have to cope with the many terrible mistakes I made which really hurt me. I have to accept what comes at me in life, and pull through.

I can't say that I was wholly good this year; I said plenty of things that I shouldn't have said, held my tongue when I should have spoken out, done things I shouldn't have done, and remained passive when I should have done something. But we're all guilty of this, and I can't blame myself forever if I did do it. So, too, is it true that people struggle with their faith, hurt others, and fail.

Despite all of the downs that I have had, however, I still remain confident that this year will hold many treasures. Last year (2004-2005) was a very good year for so many reasons, and I will try my best to cling to that. I took a lot of steps forward this past year, and I pray that I can keep the momentum up for this upcoming year (2005-2006) and the years to come. I also pray that the times ahead shine brightly on all of you, my dear friends; you deserve the best.

I think that I would like to share a few resolutions that I have made for this coming year, or those that I need to continue from before. It will be very difficult for me to keep them all, but a goal is being made:
1. Stop complaining about stupid things - I know that I whine a lot, and I know that it's annoying. I'd be annoyed if I had to listen to myself all of the time. So, my complaints jar is already up and running.

2. Go to Church every week - I was good for the first bit of summer, but began to slack on this. Be it chapel, Church (still looking for one that I like locally), I have to be to at least one of them once a week. I need my organized time with God.

3. Pray - Not that I don't already, but I don't think that I do enough. Communication is the key to any successful relationship, and if I want one with God, I need to do some talking.

4. Stay vigiliant in my faith - By this, I really mean to try harder to avoid sin. I have knowingly sinned many times this year, and I cannot allow this to continue. I am not proud of sinning, and I want to be rid of it.

5. Use sarcasm appropriately - Just like my whining and complaining, I know that I am also ridiculously sarcastic. While usually used in jest, I know that it has the ability to hurt others. I need to hold my tongue with this.

6. Be nice - Somewhat related to Resolution 5, I need to be more sensitive to other people. I must be mindful about being a good person to my friends and family, and even to strangers.

7. Work out every day - Probably one of the hardest resolutions for me, since I'm not particularly motivated too much of anything besides sleep! But if I want to live a healthy life, I have to work towards it.
Continuations...

8. Continue to avoid swearing - The swear jar is getting expensive, but it's good incentive for me to watch my language. I'm getting better!!

9. Continue to expect the most out of myself - Aim high. Sure, I'm setting myself up to be disappointed, but I'd rather try and fail to be exceptional than just pass at being mediocre.

10. Continue to be thankful - It's so easy to take things for granted, and it's so easy to let the luxuries that we all have slip our minds. I am very lucky to be where I am right now, to have the things I do, and to know the people that I do. Thank you, God, for everything! :)

I think that about covers it. If I nail these 10, I’m on my way to becoming a happier and more of a good role model. I know that these goals are going to be a challenge but that’s what friends are for – they are there to hold you accountable. And what I like to say, go big or go home!
Again, my best wishes in this coming year to all of you! God bless us all!

Photo Therapy.........

2005-08-24T19:27:00.000-07:00

Every picture that a person takes is indirectly a self-potrait, an indication of the person's life and the people around him. Pictures are memories trapped in time, a mirror to reflect back to the good times and to remember those people who are important enough in our life to be frozen in time for our rememberance. I used to think that life is a long journey... sometimes too long and too "distracting" for me to appreciate the real meanings of it at that particular moment. Thus, it's good to have something to look back and realize that my life is actually "real".

Guess what, I never really take the pictures that I have seriously before. However, after watching the movie "One Hour Photo" starring Robin Williams two years back, taking pictures becomes a new meaning in my life. Like his character, Sy Parrish said in the movie, "And if these pictures have anything important to say to future generations, it's this: I was there. I existed. I was young, I was happy, and someone cared enough about me in this world to take my picture." That line just blew me away... :-).

Blog on Comments...Ha, ha.

2005-08-14T14:02:00.000-07:00

Hello Everyone,

Its me again, Erma. I guess that comes to no surprise since this is my blog...lol.

I've decided to comment on many of your comments since i've had the opportunity to read most of them by now.

First of all I want to thank everyone for commenting on my blog. I didn't expect that so many people were involved. It's truly amazing.

Okay, now back to business and the purpose of this entry.

From blog entry: "Can I move on?"

To: You'll Know:

I don't know who you are I am unable to recognize the 'flavour' of writing. I must thank you for the lovely poem. It means a lot. I wish I could know exactly who wrote it.

To: Emily:

I'm sorry I can't reveal the two quotes as of yet. It will come in time.

To: Steph:

What Steph are you? :s lol I think I know but I'm not 100%.
I sat and pondered awhile after I read your quote then went for a walk...lol. You've inspired me.

From blog entry: "Worst day - the day I realized I lost a couple of my true friends"

To: Meghan:

Coxy!!! I thought I lost contact with you but you have never left my heart. I'm amazed that you checked out my blog. Thanks.
I kept & continue to keep many of my thoughts to myself. Keeps me out of trouble...most of the time.
I miss you soooooooooooo much!!!! :)

To: Anonymous:

I was never really aware that my actions spoke..haha. Thanks for pointing this out to me. I have made many mistakes in my past and don't wish to continue along that path. I don't regret anything for it has made me a better person ..I think and hope. We often have to hit a brick wall so that we stop and look around. Life isn't a oneway journey there are many 'sideroads' to take. I appreciate what life has presented to me. Furthermore, I like to live a life the way I preach.

From Blog Entry: "Everything has a Purpose"

To: Anonymous:

I do believe that everything has a purpose and things happen for a reason. Let me refer you to
Ecc 3:1-8.

I appreciate everyone's contribution on this blog which is the source of my passion to continue writing.

Ciao

Erma

PUZZLE PIECES

2005-08-11T18:29:00.000-07:00

Many of you have contacted me with some concern over my last blog. I am here to assure you that I am okay. I have currently come to a part of my journey, part of the puzzle if you will…where I am assessing who I am, where I stand, and how my surroundings have affected and shaped ME.

Bare with…

Sometime early in each of our lives, God sets an old card table in front of each of us. NOT the fancy ‘shmancy’ octagonal-cherry-wood-and-green-felt kind of card table that you see in the movies. The kind of card table I have in mind is an old-fashioned folding card table with leg hinges of questionable integrity—a rickety card table – the best kind.

Once the rickety card table is in front of us, God dumps an extremely difficult jigsaw puzzle onto its top. The puzzle is made even more challenging (have you seen me do a puzzle?! They are all challenging) by the fact that there is no picture on the box, just a note that says, “Assembling all the pieces correctly will result in a clear picture of why you are here.” (Nothing like attempting to do a puzzle to figure out our purpose :-)

Anyways, some of us start on our puzzles right away, while others wait until life takes a turn or two we don't understand. Sooner or later, though, we all begin to spend a lot of time trying to put all the pieces of the puzzle together. Eventually each of us holds the last piece in our hands and there is only one remaining hole in the puzzle. With great satisfaction we will snap this last piece in place, stand back to view the resulting picture, and state: “Oh, now I understand!”

By the time we put that last puzzle piece in place, most of us will have reached middle age. Many at that point will be content to have life “figured out.” While there might be others who have some nostalgia, craving for that rush (it’s the adrenalin) of making progress on that particularly difficult section of the puzzle. Few will have any interest in doing it all again. Many will have 50 or more years invested in achieving that state of understanding, and will not want to start over.

So most of us will spend the rest of our lives protecting that unsteady old card table, our arms outstretched as if we are defensemen on a basketball team - as we try to keep it from getting bumped. We panic when the flow of life jostles the table, fearing that one of those sorry legs will buckle and the puzzle will fall to the floor, taking with it our clear image of our lives.

We will see this in our friends around 50, when we begin congratulating each other on getting each of our own puzzles assembled. We will think we have it made and sit back and relax and watch life pass us by.

But is that what we all want? Guarding that table may be okay for some, but I know it’s not for me.
I think that puzzle will always have its hole – always waiting for that final piece. For I will stand back and give that rickety old card table A MIGHTY KICK, scattering the pieces of the puzzle.

The world is so big and so full of interesting people, places, and experiences. Comfortable, at least the way we use the word to describe the lives most of us construct and long for, is nearly the opposite of stimulating. As for security, you cannot hide from bad times. They will find you sitting on your porch in a rocking chair. The good times aren't nearly as outgoing. The best times, at least for me, nearly always happen when we don't already know what tomorrow is likely to bring.

So I periodically abandon my conventional life to thrust myself out into the wider world. It isn't easy, and by conventional measures it sometimes looks downright dumb, but i find the courage (or perhaps lack of judgment) to make the leap. Invariably I am rewarded with experiences that I come to value above all else. Quite often I share many of these experiences with new friends. I am also able to share my new experiences with my old friends.

As for the pain of transition, it is soon no more than an indistinct memory. This is better, I think, than for excitement to be an indistinct memory. To keep life interesting, maybe you want to give your own card table a kick.

I anticipate that this will shed some light as to why I wrote that blog.

Thanks

You are all a puzzle piece - where you fit, I don't know.

REVIVAL

2005-08-11T12:58:00.000-07:00

I appreciated this, hope you will......

Are you sitting at His feet and showing Him your love? Are you letting Him hold you and love you?
Have you put your head to His chest to hear His heart beat? Let Him hold you. Let Him hold you in His tender embrace. Let Him have your heart wholly and holey. Let His wounded hand touch your broken life and heal you deep within. Have you encountered His love this week? Don't you miss Him and long for Him? Remember His touch? Remember His voice? Remember His healing power? Remember His forgiveness? Remember? Remember how pure you felt the last time you experienced His grace and mercy? Do it again. You need to see Him. You need to go visit with Him now. He wants to see you again. He has blessings waiting for you there. Go on! He has healing for your wounds. He wants to turn your sorrow into joy and your pain into strength. He has refreshment for your soul. Drink deep of His living water. Let it quench your heart's thirst.

Thomas said to Him, “Lord, we do not know where You are going, and how can we know the way?”
Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~John 14:5-6~~~~~~~~~~~~

Can I move on???????

2005-07-23T10:19:00.000-07:00

Have you ever felt that you have to do something before your life CAN really move on?

This is how I feel and have been feeling for the past year. It feels that nothing satisfies me nor inspires me. I know exactly what I must do; but I am afraid. Afraid? Yes, afraid.

What am I afraid of? What may come? No, that’s impossible for the worst is here. Should I run? No, I’ve been running and hiding my whole life. What is it that I’m afraid of? People? No, myself. What have I done? Lots.

I sit here perched on the edge of my bed, with Nora Jones playing in the background and with faint smiles drifting across my face, as I sift through all my old photographs. Something I haven’t done in quite some time. I had them stored away in a box to not remind me of my past. Not a photograph was in sight. Memory lane was trapped. Hidden. Disguised.

I dig down into all the old memories. I hold each memory briefly in my hands before dropping it onto the pile in my lap and searching for the next happy moment to remember. Each picture evokes feelings long gone, but deep within me. I’m not exactly sure what has provoked this sudden journey to my past, perhaps it was that quote. What quote? The two quotes I carry with me in my wallet. They were buried in the rubble of receipts, but I knew they were there. Why? They carry a significant meaning, a memory.

As I continue to relive the memories, I can’t help but notice one photo in particular buried deep in the box. I plunge in to retrieve it from the sea of snapshots and hold it in my hands. The picture is lovely. Well centred, captures a great moment. It was of three people. As I focus in on the people, the warm smile that covers my face is replaced by an agitated frown. It was two girls and I. These two girls meant a lot to me. I respected and appreciated them. A terrible pang of regret flashes through me, and I feel the familiar constriction in my throat.

One event happened after another. And our friendship declined. A simple crack flourished. It was all gone. Why? Me. I tried to make excuses for not keeping in touch that summer. I couldn’t visit, too busy,…I used every excuse possible. I knew that was not the answer, but I was too nervous to pick up the phone and call. One day the phone rang as I was leaving for work. I stopped and answered. It was she. Who? The girl. She spoke and noted that I wasn’t a friend. Was that true? Yes. She said that she didn’t know me and everything is different now. How? Things happen. Why didn’t you call? She asked. Could I have told her? NO. Why? I didn’t know. Why? Fear. Was I being foolish? Yes. I could have trusted her. Why was I afraid? I didn’t know then. I do now.

Well, school started again in the fall and we tried to mend things. We went to classes, completed reports, and spoke on occasion. Things were hard. They weren’t the same. Was she right? NO, I didn’t want to believe it. What would I do? Run? Yes. School ended. We graduated. No more notes were passed behind the teacher’s back, no one understood the inside jokes. Before I had a chance to patch the crack between us, she moved back home to her old friends, and so did I. The crack between us quickly became an uncrossable rift.

Over the years the rift became too large to bridge. They had left and taken a huge chunk of my heart with them.

I stand up and stretch my cramping limbs. Pulling myself back now, I let the picture fall from my hand onto my cluttered desk. I glance back into the box. I see something. What was it? I bend down to grab it. It was an old birthday card I had made for them and never sent it. I look up at my calendar and remember the date. It was a long way away. I opened the card. What did it say? The same two quotes I had in my wallet. Strange? No, it was meant to be. Was this all a sign? I don’t know. We started so close, and ended up so far.

What do I miss most? I miss the friendship dinners.

Am I strong enough to build a bride?

Locus of Control

2005-07-21T16:53:00.000-07:00

Locus of Control Test Results

Internal Locus (66%) Individual believes that their life is defined more by their decisions and internal drive.
External Locus (34%) Individual believes that their life is defined more by genetics, environment, fate, or other external factors.

Take Free Locus of Control Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

what leader are you?

2005-07-21T16:42:00.000-07:00

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

You Can Decide

2005-07-16T19:09:00.000-07:00

I am sure you all will appreciate this.

To not be a passive victim.
To take charge every day.
To acknowledge the realities of life without despair.
To rejoice over gains.
To heal from losses.
To not run away from the truth.
To tell yourself the truth.
To learn more about your obstacles.
To learn more about how you can help yourself.
To live your life to the max today and then do the same tomorrow.
To live with the power of hope today and then do the same tomorrow.
To live with joy today and then do the same tomorrow.

UNTIL...

2005-07-16T18:50:00.000-07:00

I have recently been inspired by the women at work to write this blog.

These women all vary in age and are at different stages in their lives. I then began to reflect and analyse others including myself and quickly discovered that no matter what point they were in life they are never completely satisfied. Why?

When summer arrives we whine extensively about the heat and humidity and come winter we condemn the ‘bitter’ cold.

We convince ourselves that life will be better after we get married, have a baby, then another. Then we are frustrated that the kids aren’t old enough and we’ll be more content when they are.

After that, we’re frustrated that we have teenagers to deal with. We will certainly be happy when they are out of that stage. We tell ourselves that our life will be complete when our spouse gets his or her act together, when we get a nicer car, when we are able to go on a nice vacation or when we retire.

The truth is there’s no better time to be happy than right now. If not now, when? Your life will always be filled with challenges. I t’s best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway. Happiness is the way. So, treasure every moment that you have and treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time with … and remember that time waits for no one.

So, stop waiting ..
Until your car or home is paid off.
Until you get a new car or home.
Until your kids leave the house.
Until you go back to school.
Until you finish school.
Until you lose 10 lbs.
Until you gain 10 lbs.
Until you get married.
Until you get a divorce.
Until you have kids.
Until you retire.
Until summer..
Until spring.
Until winter.
Until fall.
Until you die.

There is no better time than right now to be happy. Happiness is a journey, not a destination. So work like you don’t need the money, love like you’ve never been hurt and dance like no one’s watching.

Believe In Your Dreams and Hope

2005-07-16T18:43:00.000-07:00

“They who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night.” Edgar Allen Poe

“We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.” Oscar Wilde

“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.” Eleanor Roosevelt

“The secret of all those who make discoveries is that they regard nothing as impossible.” Justus Liebig

“I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable ability of man to elevate his life by conscious endeavor.” Henry David Thoreau

“Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow; it empties today of its strength.” Unknown

“A rock pile ceases to be a rock pile the moment a single man contemplates it, bearing within him the image of a cathedral.” Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

“In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.” Albert Einstein

“Nothing is hopeless, we must hope for everything.” Madeleine L’Engle

“The poorest man is not without a cent, but without a dream.” Unknown

Whitney Houston - Greatest Love of All

2005-07-14T13:53:00.000-07:00

One of the best songs from Whitney Houston. Hope this song can help us to start accepting ourselves and keep our hope high. Enjoy !

I believe the children are our are future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier
Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be
Everybody searching for a hero
People need someone to look up to
I never found anyone to fulfill my needs
A lonely place to be
So I learned to depend on me

Chorus:
I decided long ago, never to walk in anyone's shadows
If I fail, if I succeed
At least I live as I believe
No matter what they take from me
They can't take away my dignity
Because the greatest love of all
Is happening to me
I found the greatest love of all
Inside of me
The greatest love of all
Is easy to achieve
Learning to love yourself
It is the greatest love of all

I believe the children are our future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier
Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be

(Chorus)

And if by chance, that special place
That you've been dreaming of
Leads you to a lonely place
Find your strength in love

Are You A Reason, A Season, Or A Lifetime?

2005-07-05T11:17:00.000-07:00

I recieved this email from a friend and I thougtht it was cute and valid. Very inspirational.

Pay attention to what you read. After you read this, you will know the reason it was sent to you! People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON. It is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are! They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered. And now it is time to move on.

Then people come into your life for a SEASON. Because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons: things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

FRIENDS

2005-07-05T10:33:00.000-07:00

Friendship is a special gift
given to us all.
The smile of a friend is sunlight on a cloudy day,
and every smile given to a friend is returned. A friend is one whom you can talk to, and listen to, without judging. A friend doesn't ignore your faults but accepts them as part of you.

A friend is a shoulder to lean on when you need support, A pat on the back when you do well, and a sympathetic ear when you fail. A friend is a person you can laugh with about everything, you can cry with without shame, and whom you trust completely.
A friend is a partner in life and a part of you always and forever.

-------

A friend is someone we lean on,
When we are feeling weak.

A friend is someone who help's us,
Find what it is we seek.

A friend is someone who looks out for you,
In all they say and do.

A friend is someone you don't have to tell,
For they already knew.

A friend is someone who would,
Go that extra mile.

A friend is someone who show's us,
A heart that does truly smile.

A friend is someone who'll stand by you,
And help you through your day.

A friend is someone who'll show you,
There is always a way.

A friend is someone who'll dry your tears,
When you feel you have to cry.

A friend is someone who'll pull you through,
When the tide feels ever so high.

A friend is someone who'll be there,
Until the very end.

A friend is someone who'll show us,
How that broken heart they'll mend.

A friend is someone who give's us,
Understanding, Joy and Grace.

A friend is someone who makes this world,
Truly a wonderful place.

Will I ever find my soul mate?????

2005-06-24T20:03:00.000-07:00

This is the kind of question that often crosses my mind. I'm 24 years old now and still single. Many of my friends hurry themselves to get into a serious relationship with someone and even some of them are already in a marriage right now. Sometimes I envy them so much and wonder why can't I be like them and find my love? Or am I destined to be single for the rest of my life? LOL. Nah, I don't think that extreem actually, but still it really bothers me, especially when my parents start to bug me with statements like: "why don't you find yourself a boyfriend?" or when your friends ask "what happened to that guy you were seeing" I think the best one is "let me introduce you to someone who I think will be perfect for you" Thanks but im not that desperate, I hope. I'm still young and I just want to enjoy my freedom.

I can't lie, I do want to have someone close and share everything with. I want to experience how it feels like to be special in one's eyes and feel loved. But I guess the biggest problem is in my own self. I'm just too afraid to really let myself fall in love. I'm so afraid but afraid of what? I don't know. Could it be rejection and actually being hurt, could it be the possible outcome? I don't know. When will I ever know?! I guess I'm such a person who's afraid to take a risk on love.

One of my friends also told me to be more confident about myself. I guess she's right. Not until I can fully accept my own self, can I allow someone to enter my heart. Strange but I guess its true.

I guess right now I will continue to meet new people and perhaps my 'soul mate' will come along.

Thankfullness

2005-06-24T19:57:00.000-07:00

Let me begin by asking you this question.

Are you someone who can easily thankful for everything you have, or completely the opposite, you have difficulties to find any reasons to be grateful?

Well, such question cannot be answered easily because it really depends on the situation. When everything is in favour with what you want, then you can easily answer that I can find many reasons to be thankful. But when everything is against your will, then you will say that you have so many reasons to complain and be upset with the situation. I have to admit that it's really hard to become such a person who can be thankful despite of his/her situation.

Yesterday, while at work, one of the ladies were complaining, I then wondered was she thankfull for anything?. I then remembered something one of my teachers said. "During our difficult situation, we should never use our "complaint" glasses. Instead, we should only use our "thankfulness" glasses with which we can always see the bright side of everything." She also reminded me that God knows the best for us. Therefore, sometimes His answers are not the same with what we want. Just like Garth Brooks' song 'Unanswered Prayers'.

The problem with having nothing but happy moments in life is that we forget to say thanks. We think that all of our achievements is only because our hard work and strength. We forget that God has given a great amount of contribution in our life so that without Him, we would have not achieved anything. By experiencing difficult times in life, then we learn to appreciate everything we have in life. It also makes us realize that we really need God and we should depend more on Him.

Growing up.

2005-06-14T21:06:00.000-07:00

I received an email today from a friend commenting on life and how much we change over timer. Where we long for the past and attempt to hold on to it for its familiar and the future is strange and scary.

On that note, I remember an email I received a few years ago and saved it. So I thought I would post it. Hope you all enjoy it.

It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are a lot of things about yourself that you didn't know and may or may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where
you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met and the people you have lost touch
with are some of the most important ones. What you do not realize is that they are realizing that too and are not really cold or catty or mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.

You look at your job. It is not even close to what you thought you would be doing or maybe you are looking for one and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and are scared.

You miss the comforts of college, of groups, of socializing with the same people on a constant basis. But then you realize that maybe they weren't so great after all.

You are beginning to understand yourself and what you want and do not want. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging a bit more than usual because
suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and add things to your list of what is acceptable and what is not.

You are insecure and then secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past
with dear life but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you or you lay in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough to get to know better. You love someone but maybe love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you are not a bad person.

One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap and getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over and talk with
your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision.

You worry about loans and money and the future and making a life for yourself and while wining the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!

What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.
~unknown

"Lett-us" ...not be IGNORANT

2005-06-09T20:01:00.000-07:00

The other day reached my breaking point in dealing with all ignorant stupid people of the world. Always crying, always complaining, whining, questioning. Why can't people just let things be? Why must we create a ‘stir’ at work? Why is it really anyone’s business as to what the neighbour is doing? Or what ‘Johnny’ said to ‘Sue’? Or what ‘Sue’ wore to work yesterday? Honestly now, is it really our business to poke and probe in someone else’s life. Okay, I understand if your concerned about a person, but when your invading someone life, or the famous word – “GOSSIPING” and even “BULLYING” then we there is a problem.

People should keep quite and listen and/or read? Always jumping to conclusions, assuming the facts, and questioning the truth. People don't know a darn thing about “Johnny”, “Sue”, or “Molly” and create little stories, torment others and cause tension within an environment. Creating a hostile working atmosphere.

You are all probably wondering what my problem is… right? Well, this all stemmed from lettuce. Yes, I did say lettuce; hence the title of today’s blog. (Thanks Jess).

I met an individual one morning eating lettuce. It didn’t strike me as odd at first for I am known to eat the most random things for breakfast. However, I saw this individual consuming lettuce again but this time it was for lunch. Now, I was curious. Was I missing out on the new fad or something? So, I felt compelled to ask why she was consuming lettuce so much- I mean she ate it as if it were leaving the country? Little behold, she said she liked it. I mean so do I, but not as TWO consecutive meals, perhaps as a snack (and yes I have done it; its quite refreshing). I was slightly concerned with this whole situation. Why? Well, let me tell you. Working a long shift on lettuce doesn’t hold out. Firstly, your not replenishing yourself of the energy lost while working. This is a huge concern especially when working in hot and humid weather – there’s a risk of passing out. Lastly, how can anyone pass up food? Obviously there was more to the ‘lettuce’ then I was aware.

After gobbling down my lunch one individual explained the ‘lettuce’ situation to me. The lettuce had a story behind it. How did I know? Okay, it was obvious. The ‘lettuce lady’ was being tormented day in and day out by a group of people who obviously had nothing better to do. She was a slightly larger woman and when I say slightly I mean about 25 maybe 30 pounds (15kgs) overweight. The ‘lettuce’ lady obviously had enough and was apparently ‘solving’ the situation. At that rate she would be the size of a pin by the end of the month. Would she be healthier? NO! Most of her teeth would probably fall out, her mind would be functioning at a much slower rate, but she would have satisfied those around her. J

Who in their right minds have the audacity to inform another that they MUST lose weight? Especially with no PhD. Interesting, but despite all this people feel compelled that they must interfere and bully this poor ‘lettuce lady’ and other for that matter.

Don’t people see what they are doing? Have they not seen how they are affecting ‘Johnny’ and ‘Sue’ and the ‘lettuce lady’? Do they not see how others perceive them? These ‘bullies’ must feel on top of the mountain. But get real people your not.

You look like an extreme ‘idiot’ for lack of a better word. You’re losing your credibility and your respect. You’re actually NOT the ‘almighty and powerful’ but the weaker and ignorant.

We often judge, criticize and bully others but we should look upon ourselves and consider the consequences of our actions.

Not sure of the consequences…
We often think of BULLYING as a physical action but there is the psychological aspect as well. The effects on victims of physical bullying obviously include the injuries sustained in the process. However, the risk of psychological damage in these cases is also substantial. Individuals who are constantly bullied - either physically or psychologically and socially - lose their self-confidence, their self-esteem or are at amplified risk of suffering stress-related conditions – which can prompt further physical trauma. (**Source: Health and Wellness)

Effects on the working environment:
Employees working in an environment of fear and resentment do not give their best. The adverse affects of bullying show up as increased absenteeism, staff turnover, low morale and poor performance levels. The enterprise may suffer loss of productivity and creative input. It is also possible that the enterprise's image and wider reputation will suffer. (**Source: Organization Behaviour class notes). Hey I’m questioning why nothing is being solved.

In conclusion…
Teasing and tormenting peers cannot be tolerated as an acceptable part of our society. So the next time you feel compelled or desire to ‘BULLY’ Molly, Sue, and Johnny THINK AGAIN. Your destructive behaviour has consequences.

James 1:19 we read: "Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry."

Worth Dreams

2005-06-05T20:35:00.000-07:00

Worthy Dreams

Okay, for some of you this question may look quite familiar from philosophy class. As much as I struggled with thought and personal analysis in the class (when I did attend) I enjoyed completing the weekly ‘Big question Reflection’ questions.

I can honestly say that some of the subject areas that we covered in class were quite profound and ‘mind blowing’. Some of the themes were very inspiring and I find myself continually thinking and analyzing some of those themes and questions. Here is one of them:

My worthy, enlivening, big-D Dream is to one day become an Educator a teacher. A teacher is an individual that sparks intellects, makes subject matter come alive and causes students to pursue knowledge on their own. Teaching is a multi-disciplinary art and a dedicated teacher is part confidant, friend, motivator, coach, actor and leader. Classrooms would be a boring place if every teacher taught the same way. One must find a teaching method that is most effective for oneself and their student.

The process of organization is important in maintaining a ‘well-balanced’ school. Educators perform an important and most valuable role within the school the ‘leader’. The function of a leader is not to create followers but is to create other leaders.

Over the years it I have become aware that my decisions today will affect me tomorrow. However, I have come to realize that there is no set path to where we are going. One should ‘travel the path untaken and make his mark’ which, is the philosophy I have stuck to today. God guides and is with us no matter what direction one chooses. I have come to the awareness that whatever my desire is/was and will continue to be God will help me along the paths. This desire to teach really struck me in high school and since then I have been attempting to achieve that goal. Every move I make I realize has implications for the future.

Sharon Daloz Parks’ commentary on vocation in “Big Questions,Worthy Dreams” is particularly striking and suiting for the vocation of a teacher. “Vocation is the place where the heart’s deep gladness meets the world’s deep hunger”. This hunger can be anything but the way I perceive it is a hunger to teach to lead and to learn.

As a teacher I hope to inspire my students and give them enough motivation to bring them all the way through post secondary. I plan to be a good role model to my student and to make learning a fun activity instead of a mandatory chore. I hope that my students acquire a desire to continue to learn as well as a good set of morals and values when they leave my class.

Teachers are important role models in the life of many students. For this reason teacher should strive to be responsible and inspiring adults.

Although teaching is my ultimate dream I hope to fulfill my other ambitions, goals and desires.

Who am I? Who influenced me?

2005-06-05T20:31:00.000-07:00

Who am I? Who influenced me?

Mentors…
People continue to shape my life everyday. People have inspired me in many different contexts; whether it’s on a field, institution or in a home. The impact that people have had continues to be a moulding structure.

Among the many who have made a difference in my life are teachers. Teachers are by far very inspirational, and considerably in my life. They have redirected and directed, encouraged, challenged, guided, motivated, disciplined, and modeled a life worth following. To this day they continue to support me either by their echoes or their presence. They have changed me as a person along my journey of life.

Although this took some serious deep thought I decided to keep it to a minimal and just focusing on educators.

I first loved school was when I was in Heather Saseila’s class. She engraved the fundamentals of learning. I learned the importance of learning and the value of education. She created the desire to teach.

Debra Curtis was my grade eight teacher. I first met her in grade seven when most of my friends had her as their educator. When they introduced me to her I thought she was ‘cool’ for she had the same unruly hair as me. It was chemistry from the start. As a shy student I was awed by her personality and charisma. She was able to relate to us as individuals. She reached out and provided strength and hope. She brought out courage and enthusiasm for life. She provided me the foundation (like planting a seed) of independence.

If there is one person that really stands out is Mary Lou Facey. She taught me to love and to trust. I first met her in grade nine (gym class) and she continued to be my teacher for multiple other classes. She encouraged me to play on the school field hockey team where her ways and philosophy really spoke to me over the years. ‘The brave don’t live forever but the cautious don’t live at all.’ She taught me to stand up for myself, to stand tall and challenge what I believed it. She always said ‘Grit, guts, and determination leads to success.

Wendy Price boy will I never forget her. Perhaps since I lived in her office for most of my high school days. As my acting guidance counsellor she directed me and opened my eyes to a different worldview. One not narrowed to my culture, one of acceptance and trust. Opening up and laughter gets you far in life. She brought laughter back to life.

As I moved away from home for the first time to go to college I decided to go pursue my education far away from family. One of the first people I met was Louise Signoretti. To this day I don’t know why I was connected to her. Perhaps it was the fact that she was able to understand me. She appeared to comprehend where I stood and my thoughts and draw them to the surface. She had that kind of compassion looking out for her students. What she didn’t say was the telling part of what I heard. Actions speak louder then words.

These women were at my side when I was trying to form an identity. I was seeking for truth. Having come from a traditional Portuguese family I was unable to do things that many other teens my age were doing. I was forced to get a job at a young age and to continue working through school. Although I do not regret

Ah yes Craymer Forth, who could ever forget Craymer. This little man who had love for his students greater then his heart could carry. This little man had high hopes for many if not his entire class. He brought love into the classroom and the process to think for our selves. Spoon-feeding in the long run teaches us nothing but the shape of the spoon. He taught me courage and faith and the yearning to succeed.

Debra, Mary Lou and Wendy all were present when I was a young confused teen. I was shy and attempted to hide beneath the surface. These women didn’t let me slide into that bubble they were able to see something in me that I didn’t see and drew it out. Courage and love of life was the outcome. I was aware that love was present in life and that it was ok to love. These were common women with a caring touch. They made me want to be more like them, leaders. Having come from a traditional Portuguese family I was unable to do things that many other teens my age were doing. I was forced to get a job at a young age, and care for my siblings; I had responsibility inside the home. However, these women helped me learn to accept that and hope for the future with change. They helped me make one of by biggest decisions of life, to continue my education. They created a realization that there is life outside the home. I moved away to continue my education.

By the time I went away from home I had a desire to succeed. I wanted to be me not live through someone else’s expectations. I wanted my own! Craymer and Louise helped me really bring my own goals into perspective. They taught me not to settle for less then what I really wanted. Warmth and commitment helped me through the most difficult challenges of my academic and personal journey. With personal battles they provided encouragement.

As I look back to these people I realize that I did not learn what they taught in the classroom but what they were as people. They built me for the future by encouraging and supporting. Although many are not near or I have lost touch their echoes speak loudly. Just like the poem footprints God was there and carried me through my most troublesome times in my life. These people have formed who I am today. I often reminisce about the past and think of what it was about these people that have formed my very being. It was their optimistic attitudes, their warnings of what may lay in the road ahead; it was their humour, their insights and their faith in me. Not one gave up on me. They all lead by example (what they did and who they were). I owe them thanks to what I have become.

I am often reminded of the Serenity Prayer
“God grand me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.

Heroes…

As an Olympic enthusiast I am often reminded of Silken Laumann a female Canadian rower. What constitutes a hero for me is one person who hade a difference in my life. In 1992 Laumann underwent a serious injury 3 weeks prior to the Olympics it was said that she wound perform at the Olympics. However, she didn’t settle for that she had courage and strength to continue. To me those are the most desirable characteristics anyone could have. Courage and the strength to continue can carry one far. She made a difference in my life. She created that inner strength and that courage to go after the things you really desire.

G.I. Jane (the character in the movie). Wouldn’t all women want to be her? I mean perseverance and patience was the key to her success. She battled through all the stereotypes and conquered her goal. She taught me with a little faith you can do what you want no matter what society and those close to you say, go after your goals. Patience is the key as long as you put in the effort.

To be a strong leader one needs personal commitment and concrete actions. And who best exemplified that then Mahatma Gandhi. He devoted his life to something he truly believed in. He searched for truth, he trusted in God, he guided, and he led. To me that makes a devoted and inspirational leader. He is an image of who I want to become. I want to lead (which is why I want to be a teacher) and in leading I hope to inspire those around me. Through my convictions and through my character and with help from the community I hope to lead the community to the right path.

Finally, Pope John Paul II and Mother Theresa is also my hero’s for their infinite wisdom. They lead and guide through their wisdom. Through them I am able to understand some meaning and how to shape what I believe in to a more practical sense. These are my hero’s because she represented all that is good and holy in a world filled with pain and suffering. They replaced violence and disregard for human life with patience, kindness and stewardship.

In conclusion, many people come into our lives for various reasons however; we often keep those who have left their prints on our soul and our heart close. They enter for various reasons sent by the almighty father above. Each of my hero’s and mentors all shaped me by creating an image of who I wanted to be. They provided support through their actions and commitments to me. Like the proverb says it takes a community to raise a child. Each person has taken part of the structure. Its like a puzzle each piece creates a new form. In general what each have taught me is to be involved and stand up for what you believe in. No matter the sacrifice, fulfill your true hearts desires. I learned to grow. Family (in the broad sense) is a group experience of love and support.

One of my teachers gave me this awhile back and I often wonder when will that day come.

The turning point in the process of growing up is when you discover the core strength within you that survives all hurt.

Why does GOD Allow People to Suffer?

2005-05-25T21:54:00.000-07:00

As most of you are aware they way we get to know one another is by getting to know his or her ‘story’. Which is what we (my co-workers and I) do during the duration of work. We discuss anything and everything while working; from how long we slept last night; to what kind of music we each listen too; to family and friends.

Last night was a little different we discussed a topics slightly more serious death, angels and ghosts. A strange topic to be discussed during work if you ask me! However, it got us through the night. One question that was posed was “why do we suffer on Earth?” This caught me by surprise; okay my heart skipped a beat, maybe two. I wasn’t sure on how to approach this topic so I just explained what I believed.

As the night progressed I continued to think about the question. For those who know me well enough know that I analyse everything possible. This is what I came up with:

Why does God Allow People to Suffer? The question of why God allows people to suffer is an age-old question for those who believe in him. Why does He put his followers through tests of faith and continue to let them suffer with what seems of no relief in sight? The Bible tells us in Revelations 21:4 that there is coming a time when sorrow, tears, pain, and death will pass away. There will be this day when God will wipe away all tears from the eyes of His children, and their sorrow will end forever. However, at the present time, humans must face the undeniable fact that people do suffer. It’s a fact of life. Sickness, sorrow and suffering are in all walks of life. At this very moment a person can probably think of a handful of others who are suffering greatly. It just doesn’t seem fair. What might possibly be the method to His madness? One can never know for certain until death when they encounter their creator, or possibly when they don’t. But until then, there is always speculation.

According to the Bible, when God created man everything was perfect. There was no pain or suffering that came upon Adam and Eve. Only when they disobeyed God did Adam have to work hard to grow food and Eve has to feel labour pains during birth (Genesis 2-3). It is here that the investigating shall begin. In Genesis 3:14-19, God informs Adam and Eve the consequences of their decision to disobey Him. He says, in short, that they would now experience sorrow and death as the price of disobeying Him. This fall is the reason why people born into the Christian faith receive Baptism, with hopes to purify a child, or in some cases themselves, from this original fall, or sin, and start anew with God. It is the Christian belief that humans are all born with a sin nature and that we inherited it from Adam and Eve.

Romans 5:12 states this belief saying, “Therefore, as by one man sin entered the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned.” Again in Romans it says that all have sinned and come short to the glory of God (3:23). Using these passages one can use the Christian logic to come up with the answer- we suffer because we are sinners by nature. But what is the point of this suffering? If man is sinful by nature, then something must be wrong in the design, right? Well, perhaps this suffering occurs because God is trying to show man that something is wrong. If there is a child who has a consistent bad habit, will not the child’s parent continually punish him until he learns not to do the habit anymore? Something must be wrong because if there was not, then there would be no suffering or death as was in the Garden of Eden right after man’s creation, according to the Bible. Perhaps God is being a parent, or Father as Jesus put it, and giving man a swift slap on the rear in order to help teach him not to do what he did again.

Another such reason for suffering might be to help direct one of His flock back to the faith. There have been countless tragedies where people turned back to God because they feared Him. Just recently after the World Trade Centre tragedy, churches and temples across the nation were filled to capacity—and not just for funerals. People turned back to God out of fear and turned to Him for answers so that He might be able to help them. When things are going good, few people turn to God and say thank you. Would the leper in Matthew 8:2 go see Jesus if he was fine and dandy? What about the blind man in Luke 18:35? Would he have had such strong faith in God’s word if he were able to see like his peers? Only when they fear or are in a time of help do they turn to their creator. It is these examples from the Bible as well as observations in the current world that help prove this.

God may sacrifice a few who have served their main purpose in life and are ready to met Him for the benefit of others so that they may also be able to look Him in the face. Another reason why people suffer could be because they choose to follow God and may or may not have chosen to believe in Jesus Christ a prime example is the Jews who suffered in the Holocaust, and countless other times, for their religion. While there were other reasons than just being Jewish for the Holocaust, it was the religion that became the ‘bull’s eye’ upon their backs. Yet, the Jews did not abandon their faith. Their Strong faith saw them through their trails. But why would God allow such pain for His followers? “Blessed are you who when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of things against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven” (Matthew 5:11). It is said in the Bible that these people will be the first God looks upon in His kingdom, so He does not forget about them entirely. He makes up in heaven for their sufferings here.

What about those who are not disobedient followers of God? There are countless of faithful Christians who suffer every day, yet may be the sweetest saints one can meet? Why is it that all the bad things happen to the good people while the wicked get away ‘scott free’? One reason could be to a make them stronger. The Apostle Paul, who had a strong faith in God and didn’t live a sinful life, writes in his letters that he too suffered. Why would he have to if he followed God with all his heart? He say in 2 Corinthians 12:7, “And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure.” Reading further, he begged the God to remove the thorn and God refused, but gave him His grace to endure it.

Sometimes God might see the need to push someone a bit to help them develop more or to toughen them up so that they can go on and be adept at dealing with problems and situations that might be coming in the future (things happen for a reason – read below). There is a song that goes “onward Christian soldiers.” Using that analogy, perhaps God allows some things to happen to good people so that they will be become tougher and able to handle more than they were able to before. He is the drill sergeant for His soldiers, getting them through the boot camp that is life.

Another reason for the suffering of good people might be to teach patience. With Job, God allowed the Devil to his animals, servants, children, and health. Yet, Job was still the good follower and did not go against his God. Because of this, God gave back everything and then some back to Job (Job 42:10-17). Good things come to those who wait, and perhaps when one sees the reward, it was worth the wait. This would teach the follower, along with others who witnessed it, not to question God’s ways, as one never knows what the reason is behind them.

All the suggested reasons for why God allows suffering can be seen in the Bible and by just looking around and watching people in the world today. Whether or not they are accurate one can never know unless described by God Himself, and that is highly unlikely. Man will continue to search for a concrete answer as to why God, if He ‘truly loves His creation’, allows it to experience pain and suffering while they cry out to Him. Perhaps if man knew the reason why, he would abuse it and manipulate it to his advantage. Perhaps man’s mind is not able to fully understand why and the meaning behind it. And, perhaps sometimes some things are meant to be unknown.

Worse day - the day I realized I lost a couple of my true friends

2005-05-24T14:20:00.000-07:00

A year and half has passed and I feel all the emotions I felt on that tragic day. The worse day of my life would seem like nothing compared to the jolt I had that day. The day, I realized that I had lost two of my closest friends. No, I didn’t lose them to death but by being a horrible friend. Like a flower that slowly wilts away so did our friendship due to no tender care; there was no loyalty, honesty and a lack of trust.

I was one of those people who weren’t sure who I really was, didn’t know what I wanted in life, nor did I value what others were sacrificing and doing for me. Like most teens I attended school as far as possible to get away from home and to have some freedom. What I didn’t know was what would result once I opened up. I was able to be who I really am. I experienced something I thought was unattainable, ‘true friendship’.

I lost contact with these individuals over the years all do to one incident. I believed that cruelty had set in and that I had lost respect. What I didn’t realize was what they were really doing for me. These individuals were being were TRUE FRIENDS. It took me quite some time to finally distinguish what ingredients make up a friend. Friendship is not a one-way street but 2-lane highway.

A Definition of a friend, friendship is not simply a "relationship", knowing someone, conversing with that person, or dealing with that person in business, school, or in casual acquaintance. True friendship is not just a "relationship", but self-sacrificing love. A friend is also one who supports, sympathizes, and is a person in whom you can confide.

There are unique qualities that a person must have to be considered a friend. An acquaintance is not automatically considered a friend. Just because you know someone does not mean there is an instant friendship. This does not mean that an acquaintance cannot change into a valued friendship. There are qualities that a friend must have, but time is also a factor. A friendship can develop in as short as a day, or it could take as long as a few years for full development. In the end, if time is taken for full development, then a real friendship will develop. The main way that trust is built up is with time. When you and a friend have trust, there will usually be a strong friendship. When there is no time spent together, then there will be a lack of trust in the friendship, and it could weaken.

To have a friend you must be a friend. This is something that I had lost. Friends should support each other at all times. In anything friends do, they should respect each other's opinions and support each other. Not only must friends be supportive of one another, there should also be a sympathetic tone when needed. Friends should not only listen, but also understanding needs to take place, as well as help. When a friend is in need, you are waiting for him as he would be waiting for you. If a friend is not sympathetic and aware of your needs, then there is a weak friendship. Each should know his friend's goals, needs, and wants. If these things are not known, then there is a weak relationship. Friends should set goals together to help develop a strong relationship. They can even help each other along the way. One person's weakness could be another friend's strength. A person needs to be loved, and that is what a friend does.

A friend needs to be respected as well as loved. Not only should a friend's needs be fulfilled, but also certain wants. A friend wants a person who will listen, love, and show respect, just as anybody would. A friend is also loyal and trustworthy. When friends talk to one another, it is known that the conversation should just be between them, especially if it is personal to either of them. Neither person should share any of the information with someone else. That is just like invading someone's privacy when you repeat something that a friend tells you without permission. You should be able to confide in and trust your friend.

What is friendship? It is a reciprocal love of one person for another, which is disinterested. It is a love that does not look for anything in return for the love given, and finds happiness in promoting the interests and happiness of the other. Such a love warms the heart, thrills the mind, and urges the friend to give everything for the other, just as Christ does for us--and leads to happiness in this world while pointing to God, who, Himself, is Love.

The formation and maintenance of a satisfactory friendship is an interpersonal achievement built upon a foundation of interpersonal skills. Some of these skills are also skills that contribute to social success in the broader sense of peer acceptance; others are specific to the requirements of friendship. A friend should be trustworthy, loyal, courteous, kind, helpful, and friendly. These important qualities should be looked for in a friend. Though all the qualities are hard to find in one person, it is still possible to get a majority of them.

Its true what they say about not knowing what you have until its gone. Over the course of the last few years these individuals have never slipped my mind. If anything they have made me stronger, more appreciative and more sincere.

God Bless them and all my friends.

Graduation ....

2005-05-23T18:27:00.000-07:00

Many of you are preparing for Graduation in the next few weeks. For all of you this is just the beginning, which is why they call it commencement. It is not because graduation is the end but the beginning of a new life, a new journey, and a new level on that video game to challenge.

Many say reach high for the stars but why should you. With a university and/or college education those stars should be found within yourselves. So I tell you this, look deep within you, that’s where the path to success is found. You are a child of God. You are all meant to shine, as children do. You were born to manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in EVERYONE. And as you let your own light shine, you unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As you are liberated from your own fear, your presence automatically liberates others.

I attended College first and many of you are probably reading this and are well aware that I didn’t attend the graduation ceremony. Something I am not too fond of. As a result I have speculated what it would have been like to walk across that platform and collect my diploma and say ‘yes, I finally did it’. I missed that but I feel God gave me something I never really asked for, yet he knew I needed. He gave me faith and confidence, and the mind to know what to do with it.

You see, the biggest contradiction I have noticed so far is the stress that is put on the big things in life when it is really all the little things scattered in between when I find I’m most happy. It’s those seemingly insignificant, random pieces of time that have kept me going throughout the crazies thrown at us as and they keep me laughing, smiling, and moving on. Whether it’s playing Dutch Blitz and focusing on getting that next Blitz, chatting and profile-snooping on MSN, or hearing a pointless story told from a friend--it’s those little moments of carefree smiling that I feel get overlooked.

With Core classes, chapel this, alpha that, volleyball or soccer practice here, yearbook deadline there, senate meeting going up, singing voices coming down, and time ticking all in between, it’s no wonder we students have been rushing through the motions of our ritualistic postsecondary lives. By the time we make it home or to the dorms, create time for dinner, toss a wave to the roomies, parents and/or spouses, and start our homework, the days begin to blur into nights and before you know it there goes the gross alarm reminding you it is time again.

Seriously, I know you can relate. You AREN’T lazy and you DO care. You EACH have such a diverse range of talents and interests that your involvement ranges from youth group activities and part time work to theatre rehearsals and basketball practice. One can rush through such endless cycles for only so long. Keep this pace up for the rest of your life, and soon enough, you’ll run yourself into the ground!

I mentioned before, it is those little things in life that appear purposeless on the surface but which I rely on throughout each day to carry me as I continue to look at life in an optimistic way. It’s fully enjoying the very little moments that allow me to be efficient with the future BIG ones. Even if its running around with the mascots head on your head, sliding down stair poles, and even running into that wall that you swear just appeared out of nowhere. Every experience is here to teach us more fully how to be who we really are.

Even though graduation is a big step to the next level or however you wish to describe it, I don’t have enough toes to count how many times I heard people say “mannn, graduation is so long and boring.” I’m pretty sure I was one of those people. But, in reality, this is what YOU have all worked so hard for. It will be your graduation ceremony. Those are your friends walking across the stage. It will be your time to smile and be proud of all you have accomplished. Sure it’s long, sure you have tons of kids in your class, but stare at everyone’s shoes or something. Laugh it up at the kid who is wearing flip-flops. Chuckle at the girl who is only 5’1” and takes 5 strides for each of your 2. Er, wait, that’s me and I’m not graduating. Enjoy the moment. Don’t rush through those motions. Its a significant event and you won’t re-live it again. It does deserve grins, laughter, and an optimistic attitude.

Life will run you by if you don’t take time to enjoy all the small things. And remember, it’s those little things that make life funny. People should laugh at most of the things in life, cry at a few, and be neutral at hardly anything.

Open your eyes and look around you,
Cherish the things you have today.
Your lives will never be the same,
The years will quickly pass away.

Be an example you'll be proud of,
One who's thoughtful and who's kind.
Always put your best foot forward,
Friendships "true" are hard to find.

This Chapter in your life now ends,
Another one's about to start.
The rewards in Life are greatest,
When you reach within your heart.

Whether you are making millions
Or sharing your last dime,
Enjoy Life to its fullest,
Its "Golden Moments Spent in Time.

One final note, I have learned and been awakened by many thoughts but here are two that have inspired me:

“Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.” ~ Mother Teresa

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.” ~Dr. Seuss

Guys, I thank you. It has been an honor to known you all. Good luck. Now, I am going to make like MSN Messenger and sign off with an L-O-L.
Ciao.
Erma, Ermz, Ermie, Ermelinda.

Everything has a purpose

2005-05-22T21:28:00.000-07:00

Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there…to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson or help figure out who you are or who you want to become. You never know who these people may be but you lock eyes with them, you know that very moment that they will affect your life in some profound way.
And sometimes things happen to you at the time that may seem horrible, painful and unfair, but in reflection you realize that without overcoming those obstacles you would never realize your potential, strength, will power or heart.
Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of luck. Illness, love, lost moments of true greatness and sheer stupidity all occur to test limits of your soul.
Without these small tests, life would be like a smoothly paved, straight, flat road to nowhere safe and comfortable but dull and utterly pointless.
The people you meet affect your life. The successes and downfalls that you experience can create whom you are, and the bad experiences can be learned from. In fact they are probably the most poignant and important ones. If someone hurts you, betrays you or breaks your heart, forgive them because they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to whom you open your heart.
If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but also because they are teaching you to love and open your heart and eyes to little things. Make every day count. Appreciate everything that you possibly can, for you may never experience it again.
Talk to people whom you have never talked to before, and actually listen. Let yourself fall in love, break free and set your sights high. Hold you head up because you have every right to.
Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself, for if you don't believe in yourself, no one else will believe in you. Create you own life and then go out and live it.

This is new

2005-05-22T21:21:00.000-07:00

Hello Everyone,

I am trying this thing. Apparently its the new thing, you know the new in..lol.

I have decided to take up the challenge so here it is.

Ermz

A Challenge to all of you: Images of God...

Proper etiquitte on eating pie.

What a scene..

REMEMBRANCE DAY

A new chapter,

The Purpose of EXAMS

...a glimpse of the soccer Season....

Victori-us weekend

An Awakening

Soccer Girls Got PRANKED!!

FEAR..........

Clarification

Today

Soccer Boot Camp

Oh Great God, Be small enough to hear me now

Lets Strive to find a Cure for CANCER!!!

My day...

How Long?

Heat Wave

it all finally makes sense

Ta-Da

Disappointed I am...

...and we're off...

Just an update

WORLD CUP CHAOS

The Journey

LAUGHTER

Remember...

SEVENS

....you gotta rub me the right way .....

hi

I'm an Auntie!!!

Everyone knows to wear “Green”

Take a Walk Through the Woods

What Will Matter

The Precious Gift

Life's Journey

STONES

Tooo Betray

Building Blocks for Deep Friendship

What are you looking for?

A Single Step...

what would you do?

HOW I LIVE MY LIFE

EVEN...

A living process....

UPDATE...

Photo Therapy.........

Blog on Comments...Ha, ha.

PUZZLE PIECES

REVIVAL

Can I move on???????

Locus of Control

what leader are you?

You Can Decide

UNTIL...

Believe In Your Dreams and Hope

Whitney Houston - ***Greatest Love of All***

Are You A Reason, A Season, Or A Lifetime?

FRIENDS

Will I ever find my soul mate?????

Thankfullness

Growing up.

"Lett-us" ...not be IGNORANT

Worth Dreams

Who am I? Who influenced me?

Why does GOD Allow People to Suffer?

Worse day - the day I realized I lost a couple of my true friends

Graduation ....

Everything has a purpose

This is new

Whitney Houston - Greatest Love of All